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Poem

They tell me you're gone now
I don't know what to feel,
I once loved you so much
I guess now my heart can heal.
You were everything
I thought a man should be,
I didn't understand
You didn't explain it to me.
I remember so well
You coming home after a trip,
I would lunge into your arms
And you would place me upon your hip.
You told me stories,
And drove with your knee,
I was in awe of you
I always missed you - didn't you see?
We met again as adults
This time I wasn't so blind,
Not a child, but grown
Understanding now why we were left behind.
You were so different
And yet the same,
Only the alcohol and the pain pills
Were stealing your name.
I was frightened of you
And made myself believe,
I didn't like who you had become
I was just waiting for you to leave.
Then no contact again
How was it so easy for you?
To walk away
With never a clue.
You didn't know what happened
While I grew up without you,
No one to guide us
To make sure we didn't break the rules.
Then a call today, its July 23rd
The day of your eldest sons first breath,
And now every year after this
The anniversary of your death.
Do I have any guilt
I believe I made my peace years ago,
But I am so sad I lost you
Daddy, I loved you so.

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