Cutting Through Silence

in a moment that gave her a semblance of clarity my Mom expressed without a shadow of doubt at long last I am allowed to do and say as I want it had been a very unhappy marriage she had felt dominated and oppressed but played her part in wilful collusion dementia had robbed her off a functioning body her mind was not even now a beautiful place which it might have been had she made it to be maybe the war was to blame for despair the convention of until death do us part partnership on an unequal playing field I will throw myself into the cold river to perish but before I drown I will stab you with a dagger into your heart and draw blood and just retribution darling remember that you are a champion of swimming and therefore you will float but it haunted Dad until his natural passing why does she turn a knife in my soul to hurt me have I not looked after her and gave her my love there never was an ill-fated weight in our union it is not your wife speaking but the illness but he would not let go and therefore I told of her sadness misery and utter dejection how do you know she never said a single word of it because she confided in me ever since I was a child hid behind my rebellion and consulted me for support I never knew whether it was the right thing to speak because I don’t and he is now gone maybe I owed it to Mom and he thanked me looking back in sadness about her never having a voice me the sounding board for her agony and contempt I am not sure who suffered most from the switchblade but self-laceration was never far from her skin of course there have been happier memories but I cannot brush over the darkness and anger I love you with all my soul innocence and wisdom of age ingested your love and felt comfort kindness compassion but the pure thrust of a skean left an unforgettable mark 28th March 2021 Mother Poetry Contest Sponsor Constance La France