Placed 1st in Suzette Richards's Curtains contest June 5, 2024
Carol Burnett and Harvey Korman in a 1976 spoof of Gone with the Wind
Setting: a rendition of Tara Plantation, 1860’s Georgia Characters: Scarlatina (S), an oddly-dressed Southern Belle Brett Rutler (B), a dashing, but presently quite confused, rogue Scene: The characters discuss Scarlatina’s attire. S: Oh, it’s you again, Brett. I was hoping to see Ashley. B: How needy can you get? I say “Ashley Schmashley”! S: I’ve been in slow motion today. I spent a long time getting dressed. B: Well, I was going to say you seem subdued, but not depressed. You’re wearing something—uh, new unlike anything I’ve ever seen. S: Isn’t it just the loveliest hue! This style makes me feel like a Queen. B: Where in hell—I mean where on earth did you find that d-dress you’re wearing? S: I spotted this unique gem of great worth in a store window. It seemed to be daring me to claim it. I simply couldn’t resist. Its draw was powerful. It had to be mine. B: I assure you I get the gist. With me, it would be fine if you next dressed as a ham. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn! Epilogue: Scarlatina, desiring a new dress, eyes the wallpaper as the curtain falls, not the one she's wearing.
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