Cruel Ocean

I've come a long way, There's a reason God has me where I am today, But I can't help looking back, because across that ocean is what I lack. That hill I stood on and beheld the water, It touched my young soul, it left its' mark, Can't believe I remember it seventeen years later, That day the sun set, made everything dark. That's not all that's over there, It's where I came into this world so cold, The place I became aware, Of love from the young and old. A place where I first felt love is over that ocean I didn't know it then, But to say "I love you" now and in person, I'd cry, speech means more than pen. I'd say it in their language and I'd feel so foreign, Because I've been gone seventeen years To them I'd look so alien, They would too from behind my tears. My first steps and words happened over yonder, Over here I became a sprinter, I they were on land I'd go the distance, I'd run through the pain, leap over every fence. But there's that ocean, and I'm landlocked, Haven't seen or smelled the wood of any dock, I've missed that place and never getting back is my fear, Because since I've been here I've counted the years. Four years, half my life, Nine years, Freshman now, Seventeen, no end in sight, When I'll get back? First tell me how. Things are supposed to be great here, A country where government's not feared, A place to succeed and thrive, Yet everyone's fake, they're dead inside. None of it matters to me anyway, I've already said goodbye, God I just want to get back across that ocean, Before my soul flies to you through the sky.