Cruel fate nixed our sites set for buying a hoagie

Cruel fate nixed our sites set for buying a hoagie Yours truly and the wife tended to some errands, which included going to the Limerick, Pennsylvania Citizens Bank for me to rectify an erroneous address indicating I Matthew Harris purportedly and presently domiciled at: 96 West Miner Street (and whereinthehellis) Coaldale, Pennsylvania 18218-1017 which address listed after viewing online banking screen indicating Good morning, afternoon or evening, then scrolling down to sought after preference selecting either checking or savings account then clicking on View Statements in Document Center subsequently choosing timeframe, account and type), while the spouse patiently waited in a hot car, (slightly more comfortable than a cat on a hot tin roof) then going to ALDI'S, GIANT (the latter place to dump off paper for recycling and making a beeline to purchase items in the clearance section), felt sorely disappointed, when a series of unfortunate events (even Lemony Snicket would have been dumbfounded) occurred when earlier today and last least on the agenda found me headed at the Royersford, Pennsylvania Wawa for what I envisioned being a mouthwatering (yellow) "submarine" or just "sub" the general term for both the bread roll and sandwiches made with it in both the USA and other English speaking nations and lastly Wawa right there in Royersford felt jinxed cause we (hungry enough to eat a horse), could not purchase (what both of us imagined to be) our delectable aforementioned sandwiches which DID NOT find me being thee unsung hero (regarding a damsel in distress) actually courtesy using the EBT (electronic benefits transfer) SNAP food card declined part of the sale, nor could I access (withdraw) funds using a recently issued debit card farcical indicating expiration date, when the spouse gave me a dour facial recognition expression (and she feigned pouting like a child), cause her husband could not head back to the house at Pooh Corner with aforementioned treasured commestible already finding us salivating like Pavlov's dog, which dude (who looks like a lady, with sweet emotion, especially after washing and drying my hair) came back to the car empty handed.