Critterature: a Gaelic Fashion Statement

A giraffe who was new At the Aberdeen Zoo Heard a bagpipe askirling one day. He tracked down the player And offered to pay her If she kindly would teach him to play. He gazed at the piper, A Hebrides viper, As she uncoiled and let out a sigh. Then she hissed, "Listen, dearrie, I'll answerr yerr querry, But you're nae gonna like my rreply. Yerr legr'rr like stilts, You'd look funny in kilts, And that just would'na sit well wi' Scots. We'rre quite snobbish and swell, And know perrfectly well That plaid dinna fit well wi' spots!"