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Criminals- Part 1- Fiction

The morning arrived quickly like some destined death at sunrise this means its time to go Across town to our morning job waiting for us like the patient spider I swear to you I didn't see him standing there at first cloaked behind an umbrella of darkness his eyes layed upon me like great weight on my shoulders; feeling his motives knowing what comes next. We got him first the guard I mean the latest stun g-- helps he fell face first unto the damped concrete. We got away. Copyright 2009 By Diiamond Rich

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Joyce Johnson

Date: 8/19/2010 9:02:00 PM

I started with nol 1, and I am afraid I will have to finish them. Thanks for your comment. Love, Joyce

Matthew Anish

Date: 8/12/2010 4:17:00 PM

Reads like an action movie. Especially liked the imageofthe "patient spider" Thank you for your kind words

Kanupriya Sharma

Date: 7/25/2010 10:32:00 AM

it is like a story..frame by frame.....nice.....

Derek Ortiz

Date: 7/16/2010 10:28:00 AM

This is a very good start, im heading to the second, i like it, this is gonna be good...

Royal Trevino

Date: 7/15/2010 9:56:00 PM

Wow, cool write, kinda like a comic book lol.. reading on:), =(^.^)=Royal

Anthony Beesley

Date: 7/15/2010 7:13:00 AM

i ilke it.i am a huge fan of mob tales and criminal crusades.i'm a good guy but i often pull for the bad guys in the movies,and sometimes in reality

Vrushani Thaker

Date: 7/13/2010 8:20:00 PM

This one is nice!!!!!!! I love this type of topic!!!!!!!! Beautiful!!!!!!! I hope we will be able to read like this more!!!!!! Vrushani!!!

Scarlett Sepulvado Anderson

Date: 7/13/2010 7:11:00 PM

Very creative poem. on to part two.

James Fraser

Date: 7/13/2010 3:25:00 PM

Interesting poem Diiamond, it sure souns like a heist >> James

Daver Austin

Date: 7/13/2010 10:41:00 AM

On to number two

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 7/12/2010 5:43:00 PM

OH good beginning! Light & Love

Date: 7/12/2010 3:53:00 PM

Good use of imagery to share your thoughts. I see you recently joined our Soup family. Welcome! I hope you are enjoying your time spent here. Best wishes with your writing. Thank you for your kind comment. Karen

Gail Blakeley

Date: 7/12/2010 3:39:00 PM

UGH ! On my wiriting...You have just shown me how you can write in a very interesting form...with lots of words ! I really like your work. I hate mine.

Arcene Janvier

Date: 7/12/2010 1:11:00 PM

This is nice...the vivid picture painted in the mind...I shall read the rest

Rauwolfia Ra

Date: 7/12/2010 12:16:00 PM

not bad, I'll have to read the rest to be able to judge.

Destiny Orschell

Date: 7/12/2010 11:16:00 AM

And the criminals begin there escape. Well on to number two I can't wait to see what you have in store for us. Love the story. Love Destiny

Lynette Chachere

Date: 7/11/2010 11:46:00 PM

sounds very dark and makes your reader want to know more. sorry for the late reply, i have been busy. but i find this story very interesting and tempting to read further. ~Always&Forever Lynette

Crystal Wilkins

Date: 7/10/2010 10:57:00 AM

hi, nice write, i enjoyed it different from what i usual read as its from a different point of view nice write! Welcome to poetry soup and thank you for your comment! ~Crystal~ x

Rhonda Hero Aka Hero-Wilson

Date: 7/8/2010 8:02:00 PM

Congrats on being featured on being featured. Rhonda hero

Joseph Spence Sr

Date: 7/7/2010 1:34:00 PM

This sounds very intriguing. I like the flash action in the imagery. I will be reading the next part soon. Great job! Joseph

Gert W. Knop

Date: 7/6/2010 5:41:00 AM

Wow, Diiamond, you must feel happy about so many comments on your poem! And congrats on your featured poem! Very well written and welcome to Soup. Thanks for sharing your writes with us...And of course thank you for commenting my poetry...Have a nice week...Gert

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 7/6/2010 3:32:00 AM

Congratulations on your poetry being featured this week at PoetrySoup Diiamond. May you have many more features. Love,Carol

Sena Slaughter

Date: 7/5/2010 2:43:00 PM

Welcome to the Soup! This was a unique poem, the story is different, but the writing is very good! I'm going to read the next part too! Thanks for sharing!

John Monteblanco

Date: 7/5/2010 1:35:00 PM

Thanks for the comment! I loved this poem, it's very mysterious and it makes me want to read the next 1! By the way, welcome to the family!!!

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 7/5/2010 11:25:00 AM

WoW congrats Diamond Rich on your featured poem this week on the Soup.. a great one to share with us all.. with luv from the "Sweetheart" in Hawaii.. AlohA Land..