Consumed By Hate

Sitting here all alone, I am consumed by hate. I try to think of the times when I was strong, The times when I could let the pain go, then I remember it was just fate. I didn’t think this pain would last for this long. I try to find a safe place, a place where There is no pain, a place where someone will understand. I try to find a place, but the hate consumes me yet again. I begin to remember all the broken promises, All the hateful words, then comes to mind all the “I love you’s.” Consumed more and more by hate with every memory Which comes to mind, I try to hold back the tears as I Feel them begin to surface, and then comes to mind my Biggest fear, my pain will never fade. Consumed by hate for him, hate that terrifies me, hate which, makes me not want to be me. I found a place that is not good for me, yet in this place I escape and I am not me, the pain disappears for a short while, for a short while I feel free. No more pain and no more fears. In this place I should not be, this much I know but in this place for just a short while I am not consumed by hate. Lost in this place trying to find my way back, yet wanting to stay Lost just a while longer because I know once I leave this place I again will be consumed by hate.