Computer Chair Woes: a Collaboration With Chris :D Aechtner

How do people do it? For that matter, how do I pull it off? Sitting in front of the computer for so many hours, body compressed into a computer chair. Feel a whole decade older than I actually am- aching bones, stiff joints, sore muscles. Eyes all dried out as I get up from the chair with a cramped neck, my back temporarily doubled over until my muscles warm up and loosen a little. Tired, I slink back into my err-NO-Go-meek (ergonomic?!) chair I check my butt...wiggle a bit... Damn. Still spacious?? I want to feel SNUG! So I sink my teeth into 4 inches of Chunky Hunky Mega Chocolate Cocoa Cuckoo Overload Bar Mmmm, this will go straight to my ass... ...there, it finally happened....officially lodged into the computer chair- knew better than to eat so much chocolate while sitting for hours. Too embarrassed to call an emergency crew, I will have to wheel around the house, stuck in this chair, until enough calories have burned away, enabling me to dislodge these chocolaty buttocks and taste some upright, biped freedom again. Figured I could start losing those calories by going on a mouse clicking frenzy Flexing my pointer finger, I start clicking away Click....click...click...'til a tic in my eye develops Yup, don't care what I'm clicking on, as long as that staccato beat resonates in my ears... fingertips sweating, I go into a trance- fall asleep at the keyboard, image of the screen imprinted on my retinas, dreaming about clicking the mouse. Fast clicks, slow clicks, double and triple-clicks! Many hours afterwards, the sound is still trapped in my brain, slowly driving me completely insane- *click* *click, click* *clickety-click* How do people do it? For that matter, how do I pull it off? Sitting in front of the computer for hours on end... My good ol' mouse answered that for me It rolled over my arm, massaged me on my back and shoulders, taking out the knots in the process and headed straight to my butt, just wedged itself in, snuggled there *click!* *click* *Clickety-clickkk!* my butt cheeks were now doing the clicking This is beyond me, never knew I could do that! Pain shoots up my thighs--going higher Uggh. Butt cramps! Shaking my head, I reach for the mouse, instead, my fingers touch something soft, sticky...brown Ah, yes! My butt is glued to my chair with chocolate. *click!* 07302011 -- well I sure enjoyed writing this one with Chris ;)