Get Your Premium Membership

Collateral damage

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like John Hamilton.


For create a character contest. Warning very disturbing!

Mara- Collateral damage

Hi, my name is Mara, I'm six years old, I have brown hair and brown eyes. People say I'm pretty like my mom, but, I don't know how that matters now.

My mom said she named me Mara because it means bitterness, my being born has only caused my family bitterness, as we are 4 children, in a war torn land. I am a girl and no one wants a girl, unless they are useful in some way.  

My father escaped the war, and fled to America, he says to find us a better life. I don't understand how leaving us here would give us a better life!  It's so dangerous here for woman, and even girls like me. 

The only men we see are soldiers, or freedom fighters. My three brothers Ahmed 13, Sammir 12, Nicolo 11, went to get food at the market last week, they were looking for huma...humana....humani..tar i an relief. They were all killed when a bomb went off.  I miss them a lot! No relief for me, I haven't eaten for a week.

I would love to go to school but all the schools are closed, most of the buildings are blown up, so I don't think I will go to school anyway.  

My Mom left yesterday to play with the soldiers, she told me if you play with the soldiers they will give you food. I'm so hungry!! 

Rat atat atat ata atatt       knock knock knock open up, open up this door!!!  Mom?      I'm so glad your back! (opens door) 

hey your not my mom! 
Rat atat atat. 

(Voice from behind) hey there's nobody here!! Let's go, lets go!

My name is Mara, I was 6 years old, now I'm dead. I guess I'm what they call collateral damage!

John Derek Hamilton
July 11,2017
First place premium contest winner
but who cares about a win really in this case.


Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
12
Date: 10/17/2018 3:10:00 PM
Wow!
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 10/17/2018 9:39:00 PM
Thanks JP
Date: 2/17/2018 7:20:00 AM
John, I have just read this poem. Gut wrenching. What can the world do? What can we do to save the children? Just gut wrenchingly sad. Is it any wonder children are picking up a gun and using it.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 2/17/2018 9:21:00 AM
Thanks for your visit Leanne, I know it's so sad, this world will get worse before it get's better, I believe we need God's kingdom to rule. This world is ruled by the archenemy...for now...after the final war by God against all evil, peace will reign. Sorry if the poem was distressing, but that is reality for now! Take care! John
Date: 10/7/2017 8:13:00 AM
A powerful and disturbing write. You remove the mask of collateral damage, exposing the horrors beneath. Top marks and congratulations.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 10/7/2017 12:49:00 PM
Thanks Jonathan for the nice visit and comment, this write is not a true reflection of my style, but I felt it needed to be said!
Date: 9/22/2017 7:52:00 PM
Belated congrats on your first place win and POTD honors John on this deeply emotive and evocative write. The way you told Mara's story made me feel like she was speaking directly to me... a very special, important, sensitive, powerful and heart wrenching poem that needed to be written. Thank you for sharing this poem John.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 9/22/2017 8:00:00 PM
Thanks Susan, I wasn't going to post this but with the contest prompt I KNEW i had to write this, it is SO not my style, but as you say it needed to be said. Like the first poem I posted about the Syrian boy who was found dead on the beach in Turkey, these message poems are what touches my heart so much. Thanks for your kind visit!
Date: 7/28/2017 12:24:00 PM
Truth on power blast this poem be, John. Great write and win! Love the grittiness ... you didn't shy away from showing us the horrors of war. Keep being a truth-teller poetic sage, my friend. Love and peace always.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/28/2017 3:08:00 PM
Thanks Freddie sometimes the truth is painful. This one hurts! I appreciate the visit and comment as always!
Date: 7/24/2017 1:00:00 AM
A powerful write. Same story of greed/war/miseries and abuse which is a prominent quality of human nature. You expressed it so skilfully here. Congrats on potd. :) Sunita
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/24/2017 7:57:00 AM
Thanks Sunita
Date: 7/19/2017 7:36:00 AM
A sad but beautiful poem about the loss of life and innocence in war zones. I like the part about, "Mommy said if you 'play' with the soldiers they will give you food." So very, very sad!
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/19/2017 10:43:00 AM
Thank you Thomas
Date: 7/15/2017 7:21:00 PM
such an emotive piece John I'm so glad you posted it for the contest and also my congrats on POTD honours it is VERY well deserved:-) hugs Jan xx
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/15/2017 7:42:00 PM
Thanks Jan
Date: 7/15/2017 7:49:00 AM
Hello John, Congratulations here on your win and for the POTD honor!! A truly riveting dramatic monologue, which certainly highlights a most unfortunate circumstance occurring in the past and certainly today in many of the war-torn hot spots worldwide. An extraordinarily powerful narrative for sure!! A FAVE!! Cheers and Best, Gary
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/15/2017 3:44:00 PM
I wrote this before the contest, but was NOT going to post it! Somehow the contest impelled me to post it. It is so unlike my usual writing. Thanks Gary for your wonderful comments and fave, of which I am humbled and grateful. Thanks again John
Date: 7/15/2017 7:40:00 AM
Congratulations John! Well done on talking about people who are often forgotten in such an engrossing and powerful manner
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/15/2017 3:42:00 PM
Thanks Kudzai
Date: 7/14/2017 9:00:00 AM
Congratulations on winning the contest and also the POTD on this very emotive and sad piece John. A tale that's enacted again and again in many parts of the world. I feel for them. Thanks for highlighting their plight. When will we ever learn? Maria
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/14/2017 11:58:00 AM
Thanks Maria
Date: 7/14/2017 5:21:00 AM
This is sad but a startling story, John, though it's the same in all war torn nations:( you have a great way of presenting, double congratulations on your win and POTD :)
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/14/2017 7:40:00 AM
Thanks Jo
Date: 7/13/2017 9:03:00 PM
A sorrowful tale that you told in an excellent manner, John. I'm happy that you won the contest.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 9:10:00 PM
Thanks Lin
Date: 7/13/2017 8:21:00 PM
hey, congrats on POTD as well!!
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 9:10:00 PM
Thanks Andrea
Date: 7/13/2017 7:25:00 PM
Congratulations on POTD, John, very heartfelt.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 9:10:00 PM
Thanks Eve
Date: 7/13/2017 6:18:00 PM
Unfortunately it is the children who are the innocent victims of war, as you have illustrated in this very moving, emotional write, congrats on POTD well deserved.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 9:09:00 PM
Thanks Cecilia
Date: 7/13/2017 4:32:00 PM
A very sad story of what children face in war torn countries...Congrats on POTD John
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 9:09:00 PM
Thanks Joseph
Date: 7/13/2017 12:34:00 PM
BIG CONGRATULATIONS on POTD. This is so powerful and emotive.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 1:11:00 PM
Thanks Elizabeth
Date: 7/13/2017 12:23:00 PM
Congratulations on POTD John! Extra frosting on the cake! : )
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 1:10:00 PM
Thanks Connie
Date: 7/13/2017 11:49:00 AM
A powerful and moving narrative! Congrats on your win and POTD.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 1:10:00 PM
Thanks Carol
Date: 7/13/2017 9:49:00 AM
Tears! It's not always far away at a war. We have cases close by in our cities. Drive-by shootings when a child is hit by stray bullets; an innocent 13 year old girl kidnapped and shot several times and killed over drugs. Congratulations for this poignant story!
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 10:11:00 AM
Thanks Sunlite
Date: 7/13/2017 9:28:00 AM
Back to congratulate you for POTD honors, maybe this featured work will bring greater voice to the subject. Well done my friend...
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 10:12:00 AM
Thanks Charlie
Date: 7/13/2017 8:11:00 AM
Well penned John, war is horrific and no one seems to care about the collateral damage. Congrats on POTD.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 10:12:00 AM
Thanks Edward
Date: 7/13/2017 7:36:00 AM
Powerful write, John. Congrats on POTD and on your well deserved contest win.
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 10:12:00 AM
Thanks Agnes
Date: 7/13/2017 7:06:00 AM
Wow John, congratulations on win and potd. I read this one and was too overwhelmed to comment at the time. I knew you had a winner though! Well done. xomo
Login to Reply
Hamilton Avatar
John Hamilton
Date: 7/13/2017 10:13:00 AM
Thanks Maureen
12