City of Desolation

I once wrote about fear and sorrow being that which kills us in prison I was wrong and I was right about both, They do kill us They do ruin us, They do give birth to despair for now I know That before everything there is loneliness born of isolation And it is this loneliness that kills us For loneliness is the worst enemy to fight because it hides in plain sight Shouting with every movement, Shrieking, Crying out in the crowd Of loss, Of abandonment, Of the past Always whispering too it does of yesterday, The day before Whey you laughed among friends, When you could touch her face When life . . didn’t abandon you and from the corner of your eyes it dances Dances like a marionette, A sickly ballerina with smiles so knowing That you, That I, That they could not see it, Do not see it The cold chill of decaying souls lies everywhere around me waiting The walls are painted thick with desolation deeply layered and sown of old The floor cries out with a million gibbering mouths all starved of light The sounds of heavy steel doors clang shut to smash the weeping spirits And the air is thick and is heavy with broken muffled sobs for This soulless shell of a building hungers for the lives of men And it holds me and I am bereft of hope, Full of malignant lamentations plenty Cut to ribbons within the depths of my soul for no one knows The eviscerating torment it takes to breathe, For no one knows The fight it is to open your eyes each morning, For no one knows The city of isolation will burn my spirit to dust, For no one knows The city of despair is alive and it wants to feed, For no one knows This city of desolation is consuming me whole As I lay here I know that in the darkness to come I will be alone I am alone, ‘Beware the loneliness, Remember those who care about you Hold them close in your mind, In you heart Keep them as a shield against the loneliness, Against despair I’m holding my friends close with all my heart I’m holding on . . . Holding on’