Chronic Illness

Pain is a constant
Like the ticks of a clock
Counting out the agony of my existence
Without pain, there is no life
Or is there?
Is there an old shoe box in my brain
Where lies the faded picture of a better time?
I am afraid.
If I knew that others surf the wave that bandies me about like a sock in a dryer,
Would I stop swimming?
When others build castles from the sand that swallows me whole,
Does the Lifeguard care?
Does He even notice?
My salvation is a dream,
So I escape into the gospel of Beautyrest,
Where I place all my hope.
I am a creature of the night,
Dreading the sunrise when my clock ticks again
Living for the quiet, dark night to erase my pain, my memory, my tomorrow.
Is heaven just a state where we finally sleep for all eternity?
That is my greatest hope.
Because my shoebox is way too small.
And these waves are way too big.
And the sunrise, it keeps coming, no matter how many Ambien I load in my clip.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

La France Avatar
July 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM
Cindi, your write is sadly moving, I could feel the pain in each word, I am so sorry for whatever you are going through, I have felt hopelessness also in my life, I understand and I find writing is very healing and thanks for visiting my senryu 13, I know you can relate to it
Rockwell Avatar
July 6, 2015 at 5:26 PM
Thank you! Love this community of like artistic souls!
Allison Avatar
July 5, 2015 at 4:12 PM
my heart goes out to anyone in this position - such deep sad imagery - pain comes in many forms I hope and pray you find comfort with writing about these issues:-) hugs Jan xx
Rockwell Avatar
July 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM
I do. Bad weekend and trying to express it helps. Thank you.
Heemstra Avatar
July 5, 2015 at 3:14 PM
A very deep poem full of sadness. No one knows of the pain we suffer. Thank you for sharing.
Rockwell Avatar
July 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM
Thank you for reading!
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace