Christmas, and Once Again

It all began when I was four, a man of gifts was introduced into my knowledge O' the joy that I felt, for if I but behaved a list of gifts this man would give me And so I was on my best only to be disappointed for nothing ever did I see My family gathered and all of my siblings ran into what the man who brought for them Year after year I waited, waited with tears of the unknown My voice grew into my own personal recorder I repeated time after time the same lines of regret and broken hope Yet I held on to the belief that one day the man with a big beard would bring me a gift All I wanted to was to sit around a tree in christmas time and hold my loved ones Alone I have spent this holiday after all these years alone I spend it still Was family not made for me? Was love not meant to wipe my tears Why am I to my shadow? Am I to dwell until death takes me yet alone Where is the spirit that touches the soul of christmas Am I too alone that my christmas has gone away from me too This eve again I shall weep in the memory that haunts my heart Farewell world, let me sob that tomorrow christmas too shall be at my minds depth