Earl Schumacker Poet Free verse

Chew On That

People who never met me don't know me
Those who don't know me never met me
They think I'm bad
I know I'm bad
Even dangerous if you need to know
You know those things on top of toothpaste made of plastic
That keep the product safe, secure and fresh
Well,  I have been known to remove them
Because I am notorious, I throw them in the trash
That's right.  Yeah.  Me.  I'm bad, really bad 
And that's not all
Sometimes I become malicious
I don't close the cover before striking matches
I leave them open
And I don't even smoke
It is no joke
I disobey the rules
Don't tip my hat to ladies when in public
I don't even own a hat
That's how bad I am in point of fact
When walking on the street I step on cracks
Walk on the other side, even if it is not there
That's how mean I can be
And did I say, I'm bad
I'm bad and glad I am
So keep your distance
Your hair looks fine and pretty
When I finish with my chewing gum
Who knows what I'll do next

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Daniel Turner April 15, 2016 at 9:40 AM Absolutely love the humor in this piece, Earl. Really enjoyed the read my friend. Peace:) Earl Schumacker April 15, 2016 at 1:30 PM Hi Daniel, Thank you so much. Glad you liked it. Who ever said that poetry can't be fun? Have a great week end. Earl

Michael Whatley April 15, 2016 at 7:14 AM Haha, hilarious piece, Earl! A thoroughly amusing write, imbued with personality. Earl Schumacker April 15, 2016 at 7:50 AM Hi Michael, Thanks! Glad you liked it. I wanted to add "stirring tea in a counter clock wise motion" just to prove how radical the character could be and "walking up the down moving escalator at the mall" but I did not want a long poem. Short and silly is the order of the day. Have a great day. Earl