Change For What

Why must I always strive to make you happy? When you always make fun of me? Always put me down? Why must I put my life on hold to do something you want for me? When you always tell me I'm stupid? And always call me names? Why do I love you, And put up with you *****24/7? Is it because your family? Or because I have to? I'm tired of this so-called life. Having no say in what I do. Where I go, Or even who my friends are. I'm to the point to where I'm ready to leave. Leave you. Leave the world. So tired of you and your crap, I'm ready to fall asleep, and never wake up. You expect me to be someone I'm not. Your disappointed that I'm me, And that I'm not changing for you. I shouldn't have to change for you. Your my mother, and my father. And you should accept me as I am. I've tried to change. I quit drinking. I even quit smoking pot. For you. I've done everything I can do to try to get you to like me. But nothing I do is good enough for you. Why do I bother? I could of been gone a long time ago. Could of put me, and you, out of misery. Could of made your life, and mine, more peaceful, and happier. But because I don't want to hurt the ones in my life who actually care, I put up with you. Yeah, I smoke again. And drink again too. But its the only way I can face you. Face you everyday, and keep my sanity. I'm not doing it for me. And I'm sure not doing it for you. Im doing it for my friends and family that care. And you, are neither. You one was, But no longer do I care about What you do, or say, or even feel. Your dead to me. Maybe when you lose me for good, You'll realize how good of daughter i could of been, That I wanted to be. But couldn't be because when I tried, I disappointed you. Everything I did, and do, Is a disappointment to you. Everything I say or think, You frown upon. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. But if you can't accept me as I am, You don't deserve me.