Caring For My Mother - a Letter To a Loving Friend

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More than seven years ago, having agreed to help my parents I put my career as a stage director on hold. For just over five years now that commitment has become a 24/7 duty I am intent on continuing. Three years ago I lost my father. My mother is bed ridden and tube fed. Even with assistance and paid nurses my mother's needs are so great they occupy my days. I love my mother with all my heart. Recently her dementia has progressed. What I am doing is very difficult and puts one through a series of emotions. I love my friends here and I hope you can indulge me this vent. I find it therapeutic just to write and share it. I am not complaining I have been blessed with a wonderful life. With lots of love, Armand.

 

I sit here alone...wondering...how much longer this...and in hearing 
the question a silent icy fear blankets my body...the answer would 
come wearing both masks...tragedy...comedy...this is my life. with
freedom comes death...it hangs over me like a Mexican piñata filled 
with chocolate covered blades...so each day firmly slipped into 
neutral I exist...barely a choice to live...so I ask myself...how
did I get here...the answer comes thundering from up above...
a dead poet speaks...son that is the path you chose at your fork 
in the road... you don't argue the truth...you just throw cold water on 
your face...no...you step into a frigid shower...cleanse your thoughts
...stand in defeat happy to feel something even if it is just the pain of 
your nerve endings screaming...soaking wet and naked is the only life 
you presently afford yourself...there is no one to hear your tears...
what little sound they make rolling down your cheeks...they are not 
self pitying but rather wanting...of a loss so deep...what in your own 
self appreciation defined you...you want back your art...it...that so 
often led you back to the promised land...still you are not that hot 
headed fool you once were...you will not stand on the mountain only 
to shatter the tablets with their ten commandments...a cooler head 
prevails...so you think...like a soap opera...these are the days of my
life...I am strong and vibrant...yes I am and I will walk as slowly as I 
must towards my light and yes I will come out the other side a better 
man for this. 

08~01~2015
Armand

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015



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Date: 1/31/2015 9:24:00 PM
I see this one is very high on the most popular poems list right now and if I have not faved it, I am doing so now to keep it high. you WILL come out of this,Armand. You are strong and your attitude is so good.
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Date: 1/26/2015 12:03:00 PM
Armand, once again I am amazed at how much poignantly sincere you can speak of your feelings and emotions at any stage in your life. Yes, loving the people around us and choosing to dedicate practically our whole self for their well being is honorable, but that doesn't mean we are not visited at times by doubts and frustrations. Wanting something for ourselves and unable to reach it because of our choice does not dehumanize us...rather the opposite, in fact. A toast to you, dear friend! Kim:)
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Date: 1/21/2015 12:44:00 AM
Maurice your heart is full of love for your Mother....your loyalty is total.... Your love has no negative thoughts....I salute you.....Seren
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Date: 1/13/2015 7:02:00 AM
touching beautiful pen maurice congratulations on poem of the day dear pal
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Date: 1/11/2015 1:02:00 PM
laurels to your for the POTD crown, Maurice... a most heartfelt write about your mother.. beautiful.. huggs
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Date: 1/11/2015 8:49:00 AM
Congratulations on being chosen for poem of the day Maurice.
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Date: 1/10/2015 8:02:00 PM
A most difficult but loving tribute to the woman who bore you. Blessings.
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Date: 1/10/2015 7:14:00 PM
Thank you all for your kindness and your support, I feel the richer for it!
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Date: 1/10/2015 6:58:00 PM
Congratulations! Well deserved to be POD! :)
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Date: 1/10/2015 3:12:00 PM
Maurice congratulations on your heartfelt offering winning Poet Of The Day, well done
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Date: 1/10/2015 1:28:00 PM
Briilliantly composed. I like it.
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Date: 1/10/2015 12:26:00 PM
so nice
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Date: 1/10/2015 11:07:00 AM
Congrats my dear friend. Much love as you continue your journey of loving care taker. . . .
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Date: 1/10/2015 10:31:00 AM
A very touching write that bares the soul. Congratulations on making poem of the day. Clearly a deserving poem!
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Date: 1/10/2015 9:22:00 AM
Good job Maurice, congrats on being poem of the day
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Date: 1/10/2015 9:19:00 AM
I am sure this experience has made you a better poet. Good for you, loving is important work!
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Date: 1/10/2015 8:29:00 AM
Good to see you as poem of the day, You are amazing my friend, lots of love xxx
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Date: 1/10/2015 8:23:00 AM
Maurice, what a wonderful write, congratulations on poem of the day well deserved. Caring for a loved one would be hard. Blessings & hugs dear friend
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Date: 1/10/2015 8:12:00 AM
Armand, back again to say congratulations that your well-deserved poem was chosen as the poem of the day. Such a worthy poem to be in the spotlight so many can read about the wonderful son you are. Hugs, Sandra
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Date: 1/10/2015 7:40:00 AM
A deeply philosophical poem that shows you have perceived glimpses of the eternal! A well-deserved POTD, mon ami, Maurice! Congratulations!
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Date: 1/10/2015 6:30:00 AM
- A poem that touches my heart - Congratulations on your p.o.t.d. !!! - I wish you a lovely weekend :) - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Date: 1/10/2015 6:08:00 AM
This really worths this honour,congrats Armand...huggs
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Date: 1/10/2015 4:15:00 AM
Am so delighted to see this showcased as poem of the day - reading this for the third time my heart goes out to you my friend - sheer respect and admiration for all you do and the personal sacrifice you have made... for love:-)Hugs hugs love you :-) Jan xxx
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Date: 1/10/2015 3:55:00 AM
:) this is a wow write... :) thanks much for sharing and God bless you always.. hugs and hugs.. :)!
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Date: 1/10/2015 1:46:00 AM
Best wishes to you Maurice, life has its ends, and we do not always know what outcomes will be, I applaud you in this situation, and would only say be as ready for any possibility in the future..'
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