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I sit here alone...wondering...how much longer this...and in hearing the question a silent icy fear blankets my body...the answer would come wearing both masks...tragedy...comedy...this is my life. with freedom comes death...it hangs over me like a Mexican piñata filled with chocolate covered blades...so each day firmly slipped into neutral I exist...barely a choice to live...so I ask myself...how did I get here...the answer comes thundering from up above... a dead poet speaks...son that is the path you chose at your fork in the road... you don't argue the truth...you just throw cold water on your face...no...you step into a frigid shower...cleanse your thoughts ...stand in defeat happy to feel something even if it is just the pain of your nerve endings screaming...soaking wet and naked is the only life you presently afford yourself...there is no one to hear your tears... what little sound they make rolling down your cheeks...they are not self pitying but rather wanting...of a loss so deep...what in your own self appreciation defined you...you want back your art...it...that so often led you back to the promised land...still you are not that hot headed fool you once were...you will not stand on the mountain only to shatter the tablets with their ten commandments...a cooler head prevails...so you think...like a soap opera...these are the days of my life...I am strong and vibrant...yes I am and I will walk as slowly as I must towards my light and yes I will come out the other side a better man for this. 08~01~2015 Armand
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