M. L. Kiser Poet Free verse

Caregiver Misery

Note:  Sundowning – Most commonly in Alzheimer and Dementia patients, Sundowning, is changes in behavior that get worse in late afternoon, evening and can even last all night.  Patients may be agitated, confused, unable to sleep; it may appear in other forms of disruptive behavior.  

Eight sleepless nights, pacing non-stop;
legs, knee-bent, dragging toes are scraping carpet.  
Enduring a painful back; each breath drawn 
makes it throb and exhaustion’s in control.
I can’t sleep until he sleeps; 
must stay awake in case he falls.  
I hold my breath to stand; 
it dulls the sharp stabbing pain in my back.  
I swallow another migraine pill and 
pray for him to fall asleep; he does not.  
Respite eludes me; caregiver to a dementia-mind, 
I collapse into a chair, dizzy and call myself an ambulance.  
I’m drained, hungry and he’ll Sundown several nights.  
I pass out and am brought around by an EMT; 
my patient's oblivious to the fact that 
anyone’s come into the house…
he paces…and paces…

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Caren Krutsinger January 3, 2019 at 1:02 AM M.L., I have met caregivers who are so totally exhausted that their bodies give up and they die first, leaving the one everyone was worried about alone. Well done; the feelings truly resonate from this poor dear caregiver's soul. M. L. Kiser January 3, 2019 at 5:02 PM Thank you, Caren. It's a true story.

Gershon Wolf January 2, 2019 at 8:00 PM Vividly described. Agonizingly real. Sorry for all your pain and travail. ~ Gershon M. L. Kiser January 2, 2019 at 8:21 PM It's strange what the human body can take without dying. Caregiving is sometimes more exhausting for the caregivers than the patients. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Ilene Bauer January 2, 2019 at 4:43 PM so sad but so well-described! the caregivers never get enough credit for what they go through when caring for patients like the one you've described... M. L. Kiser January 2, 2019 at 7:07 PM Yes, thank you.

Line Gauthier January 2, 2019 at 3:47 PM Wow, ML. What a gut wrenching poem. Superbly penned... and the shape is very appealing. A FAVE for me. Best wishes to your and your loved ones for the new year. M. L. Kiser January 2, 2019 at 4:24 PM Thanks so much, have a great New Year, Line.

Jan Allison January 2, 2019 at 3:42 PM Absolutely heartbreaking on so many levels M L both the carer and the patient suffer so so much and their is precious little respite for either. Got tears as my mum is in a care home and I hope and pray she never gets moved to the dementia unit, her memory is not as good as it was but I still try and see her every day:-) hugs jan xx M. L. Kiser January 2, 2019 at 4:28 PM Thanks Jan, I can sympathize; my late Father passed in 2003 from it. I wish you blessings in the New Year and may a cure be found.

Heidi Sands January 2, 2019 at 3:30 PM Oh my word. This poem really hit me hard. So well expressed and heartbreaking. Bless you! M. L. Kiser January 2, 2019 at 4:29 PM Thank you, Heidi; Dementia is a hard-hitting nightmare for everyone.