Bunch of limericks and other funny tricks III

This morning, my yard was hopping with squirrels and rabbits busily shopping for pine needles, berries, and cones, perfumes, oils, and sweet colognes, to entice partners for this evening's bebopping. The fox said to the wolf in a huff. "We're making this problem way too tough. You take that goat, Sandie, and I'll take that lamb, Randy. And we'll split Porks, if that ain't enough." There was some tumultuous to do in the pouch of mommy kangaroo. The twins were jumping and springing, doing summersaults and singing, making mommy kangaroo ~ so blue. Tiny birds scooting across the street, hopping on their three-toed, little feet. A car misses them by inches ~ they'd be dead if they were finches! Tiny birds! Get off the street! Tout sweet! I chanced on a cat as big as a bear who was all covered in grizzly, brown hair. He was cornered by a mouse as big as a house! And guess who there was trembling in fear. "You look like a million bucks in your elegant white tux," said the ravenous wolf to a lamb. "But though you look pretty in it, don't think for a minute I'm not gonna eat you, cuz I am." I asked, "Can you do me a favor?" She joked, "Of what kind, of what flavor?" I said, "What you got to offer?" She said, "Peek inside my coffer ~ and grab anything you might savor." As green, young grunts in the Marines ~ we near lost the battle of New Orleans, cuz we all got diarrhea, eating gator skin tortilla, and two bowls of Cajun pork and beans. Have you ever stopped to consider, how much time you waste on a sh-tter? Why not try writing a diary about all that you hear, smell, and see; then sell it to the highest bidder. Be careful when you go to Crete. The cops there aren't any too sweet. Hell, they'll even give you a ticket, if you buy an ice cream and lick it on the wrong side of the street. I asked her if she wanted to go. She said, "To where?" I said, “I don't know.” She said, “Wow, that’s really wild! Ever since I was a child that's where I longed to go ~ how'd you know?” Oxygen, hydrogen ~ one on two ~ that's what these two gases tend to do. And just to be funny, ha, ha, ha ~ they form a perfect ménage à trois, to make water for me and for you. The danger in your vicinity was alluring femininity. And thoughts that jumped into my head, I had to quickly put to bed for fear of the Holy Trinity. I find it so effervescent that you let me explore your fertile crescent. I know ~ my requests are incessant ~ I'm such a total adolescent. But thanks for being so acquiescent. Sometimes, bad verse creeps into my brain, and echoes there like a sick refrain. And when I beg it to please go, it often flatly say, "Hell no," and willfully decide to remain. He lifts his leg. Not a drop of pee! For Bix, it's marking try #twenty-three. By now, his bladder is plum dry, but that won't stop this little guy. Mass marking is in his pedigree. "No, no, no, no, no!" said the bawd to the beau. "You may be better looking, but that don't mean I'm cooking, or doing dishes ten days in a row. After not having seen me for years, Mimi stroked my face, clean shaved of hairs. And she quipped, "Now you're twice as cute as those days when you were hirsute, and your bristly cheek hairs stung like spears. I ask, "Dear, what is this anger for?" She shouts, "I just can't take it anymore! Let's just say, our race's been run!" "No! It's just begun. Je t’adore!" "Sure!" She shoves me out and shuts the door. She was such a delectable dish! She said, “I’ll see you around 8-ish?” So I rang the bell on her door, a good fifteen minutes before, cuz I didn't wanna be late-ish. The first time I fell deeply in love, it was one I made a real hash of. So many unforced mistakes that she still does double takes, and curses me to the gods above. I can’t believe this guy! He just tried to pick the apple of my eye! I said, "Are you serious? You think she would want you? That's hilarious!” Two weeks later, guess who I saw walking by. This inn serves water from toilet to tap. Surprise! It doesn't taste a bit like crap. We cleanse our water till it's as pure as freshest spring water, that's for sure. So, why are you holding your nose, old chap? Each time I hear Hark, the angel, sing, I think "Wow, what an amazing thing!” Hark can as thunderously bellow as any other show biz fellow, and knock off her socks and everything. Jill and I don't speak in many words. We tend to communicate like birds. In zany tweets and wacky twitter, she teases me, whereas I kid her, in fab fields of sillies and absurds. An atom's proton asked the neutron, "Hey, Bud. Do'ya know what's going on?" "Yeah, sure. We're about to be split. So, that'll be the end of it. Watch out for the flash. Keep your shades on." I know an Obi-Wan Kenobi, an English teacher from Nairobi, where he lives with his young wife and two twins, who are his life: one's named Dick ~ the other one Moby. If there was ever a time for now, it looks to me you missed it somehow. Although, I'm sure I did mention ~ you'd best be paying attention. Or is that now ~ what you'll disavow. Let our bygones be bygones, my dear. And let's quaff the last of this beer. And while the old moon gapes, let's traipse like some wild apes, haply into a phosphorous New Year.