Brownload In Progress- For Jan

Written for Jan Allison, who then decided I should share it for poop verse afficionados.
True story, by the way.....

There are some jobs where heeding worker's safety is required
and during operations must be suitably attired
environmental hazards mean that everyone conforms
and wearing full length protection has now become the norm.
In this case, paper snowman suit with hood and full length zip
a sturdy piece of clothing and is not inclined to rip.
Whilst clearing out some premises a worker got caught short
and knew he'd never make it to the toilet, so he thought
and made a break for the nearest hedge with a newspaper he'd bought.
Just in time he squatted down, the time lag all too brief
as out in one loud massive jet his bottom got relief.
The job now done he zipped back up and dressed just where he stood
not realising, squatting, that he'd done it in his hood.
It soon became apparent, as his headwear pulled in place
as fly attracting runny doo doo dribbled down his face
His workmates doubled up in laughter, just making it worse
as he stormed off in anger like an Oreo in reverse.
So since time immemorial, the moral's been the same
that when you go, then please do so, but
just you watch your aim.

For Jan, with love 'n hugs and trembly bits, Viv x
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Inman Avatar
August 13, 2015 at 10:20 PM
Viv, horribly beautiful imagery. I envy your wit. Funny!
Wigley Avatar
August 14, 2015 at 12:21 AM
Thanks, James, not the nicest mental picture, but, as they say, s**t happens. Regards, Viv
Callus Avatar
August 10, 2015 at 1:13 AM
Strange....but on revisiting this witty write I find that I must have missed commenting before! ... unless I did and it got flushed into obscurity! ~ Have a nice week. // paul
Wigley Avatar
August 10, 2015 at 6:26 AM
Thanks, Paul, all cisterns are go. Regards, Viv
Pinet Avatar
August 9, 2015 at 12:24 PM
The scene is captured well by your magic pen and the details create the anxiety of the moment well, giving life to this nasty yet humorous experience. Emile.
Wigley Avatar
August 9, 2015 at 3:50 PM
Merci beacoup, Emile, and thanks for dropping by. Salutations, Viv
Dietrich Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 4:49 PM
hahaha. this really made me smile. GREAT story. I bet he never forgets that embarrassing day. You are awesome with funny tales.
Wigley Avatar
August 8, 2015 at 12:45 AM
The very worst kind of sham-poo, Andrea. Thanks for dropping by, Viv x
La France Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 2:25 PM
Viv, poking fun write, and thanks for visiting my puppy poem
Wigley Avatar
August 8, 2015 at 12:45 AM
Cheers, BW, and have a lovely weekend, Viv x
Laurie Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 2:26 AM
Ha ha ha Viv... a right mess; humiliation; embarrassment... I'm not commenting about your poem... THE BLOODY CRICKET - Lindsay (sob)
Wigley Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 9:27 AM
It aint over yet, Lindsay, although the captcha for me to reply was 'wun'. Thanks for dropping by. Regards, Viv
Gifford Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 2:00 AM
A pooper scooper , this I know, should go to Viv for the over flow! And don't give me credit for this smelly write, because I might not make it to the toilet tonight! ~~Darlene
Gifford Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 9:30 PM
I'm the biggest toilet turd, not you, Viv. Now I'm going to flush.
Gifford Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 6:51 AM
Viv, You can't have the last word, you turd!
Wigley Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 2:08 AM
I was bowel-ed over by your comment, Darlene, thanks x
Manassian Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 9:44 AM
OH MY....OH MY....OH MY...Didn't see that one coming....I really didn't! ;) That was quite the tale...or tale end story! I must say....you wrote it so well that I got visuals and...well....I think you spoiled the Oreo experience forever! Good one, Viv. Jan is a tease and so are you!! By the way...FYI...the word tease...in Arabic...is BOTTOM! ;)
Wigley Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 3:03 PM
I learn something new every day, Eileen, I must do a paper on it sometime. Keep your head down, Viv x
Manassian Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 10:16 AM
I know, right??? ;)
Allison Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 9:58 AM
ha ha ha Eileen so good to see i inspire other people to write poop poems lol:-) hugs jan xx - oh i will remember that tease word now ha ha ha:-)
Allison Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 9:43 AM
ha ha ha Mr Viv I'm so glad you posted this as a warning to anyone who wears a snowman suit lol - you sure have made me smile:-) hugs Back Jan xx 7 and faves xx
Wigley Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 2:59 PM
x
Hunjeri Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 9:28 AM
Okay lets start with the title brownload...in progress. . Then lets continue to the body, the Oreo in reverse... Hahaha. Between you and Jan......i dont know
Wigley Avatar
August 6, 2015 at 2:59 PM
Sorry for the mental picture I left you with, njeri, a bit of a dump. Thanks for dropping by, Viv x
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