Blueprint

I learnt to speak only to grow not to talk with words i understand If i must speak allow me to settle in with this anxiety first My chest keeps beating as if my ancestors were not outspoken enough Forgive me mother I never grew to be the eye you sow Every time i try to convince my retina that i am a picture worth seeing the tears blocks down its views I am a blurred version of truth I heard the eyes has a mind on its own Maybe my tongue has too For the words i intended to speak never did decide to flow I am a person i never was The words keeps reminding me of that Steadily stuck between the thoughts that i am not better than this I believe my mistakes left a red mark on my face Showing the world that i was a blueprint never to be visited again Learning to cry only to find out that the tears are just a waste of energy Anxiety was the talking drum ringing a bell in my head At some point it left me stranded in this nightmare i created