Blood On My Pillow

There's blood on my pillow because my nightmares became real My demons came to life while I slept Forcing me to wake up in cold sweats Tears coming from my eyes, but they're something I can't feel Empty Brandy bottles, surrounded by pieces of paper on the floor Screams my dreams made me let out, I'm surprised there's no neighbours at the door My booty call came over, but left as soon as we finished the deed A heart full of emotions, a head full of words, But I struggle to speak They focus so much on villains they don't see the heroes pain How can someone with depression and anxiety, be so vain? There's a simple answer to that question As soon as I thought about giving up, my alter ego came I'm not over her, but I'll tell the world I am until I really am over her Love drunk, trying to speak my sober words I'll act like I don't care about her, evem though I do I'll pretend I'm not thinking about her when I find someone new Right now I need to go out partying and hooking up with random ladies Because when I'm left alone with my thoughts It drives me crazy Depression leads me to think about Suicide and should I pick up that Knife? So I'm constantly looking for a reason to not give up this fight I say too much in my poetry, I should tone it down But if a King can't be honest to his people, he doesn't deserve to own the crown If You haven't messaged me in a while, don't phone me now I needed a genuine friend, you're just looking for something to show the crowd The blood on my pillow scared me But I'm at a place where my nightmares fear me I care too much what others think, even If I act care free My demons attack me daily to prepare me