Blood In the Water

I walked out into the Gulf thinking about the vastness of the horizon and what lay beneath. I could feel the presence of strange, beautiful, dangerous creatures. I tried to soak in their strength. They called me closer with their mysterious movement- their vague graze against my ankles; Disappearing as quickly as they revealed their presence. The warmth of the water felt pure. The salt hungry to cleanse my ghost. I was neck deep then. Feeling the riptide’s resolve to show me the truth of nature’s volition. I swallowed the grit of its essence and accepted the burn as counsel. I am drowning. Not because of the tide. Not because of the swarming beasts. Because I’ve been walking into a place where I should know to swim. And so I held my breath, and let my lungs become buoys as my arms charged my body toward the beacon I always felt was a burden. When my feet met the shore again the sand was soft against my tired flesh. The Seagulls cried out. The waves crashed. But I was silent. Letting the wind dry my clothes. And carry away my madness. I was never meant to drown. I had to learn how to hold my breath when I needed to float. To fight when the pull challenges my strength. And to appreciate the comfort of walking the Earth, even when it feels as daunting as an ocean with my blood in the water. -James Kelley 2018