Bike Ballade

BIKE BALLADE The man on the bike was a cop who was blind With a strange kind of insect-look in his eyes: His steering was wrong and so was his mind For the pedals and chain were both the wrong size. He travelled quite well among other bike guys So long as he kept his white stick to himself. He’d assumed a spiderman suit for disguise But the costume had come to him straight off the shelf. It was plastic and wood and somewhat fur-lined Uncomfortable I’d say from the pitch of his cries And sometimes the legs and the cape got entwined And even entangled his calves and his thighs Tried not to be smug and to smoothly advise As if it were something I’d want for myself I suggested he needed to go and upsize But the costume had come to him straight off the shelf. He seemed to be to discomfort resigned And to put up with what pain the suit could devise. This cop’s undercover task had been assigned: Some criminal was in for an early surprise. For the suit cop had paid out a fee to the skies - Seems he’d selected the costume himself And he’d paid for a measured suit with button-up flies, But the costume had come to him straight off the shelf. And the same guy had sold him the bike the wrong sIze; Yet at least it was tailored (for an overweight elf). Though measure-made it would no doubt soon capsize; But the costume had come to him straight off the shelf.