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Big Girls do Cry

They expected her to be the jolly fun one. The one w e a r i n g a smile on her face. So she became.....who they wanted her to be She was quick with her wit, telling her practiced fat jokes. It was a pre-emptive strike of sorts her attempt to remove the target from what some thought was her "considerable ***". Never again wanting to be the "butt" of people's jokes! She remembers the year she was "Chubby Checker" the year her parents gave her that checkered jacket she also remembers how hard she cried. They laughed, and one boy sang "Big Girls Don't Cry----- they don't cry!" She vowed to herself on that very day "I will never ever cry again!" There were the many diets the yo yo effect..."Yo big girl, lookin good" Friends asking her “have you lost weight?" Those "good for you’s!!!! The attention felt good in a way but the weight she'd lose seemed to come back the next day. Somehow the cursed food felt like her only true friend the only one on whom she could depend. The food never judged her instead it filled the empty sad part the part that weighed nothing yet felt like it weighed a thousand pounds! The part that felt lighter when she was full it somehow felt like a hug from the inside. She stopped eating in public not wanting to hear comments like "she could do without that ice cream." There were also the buffet comments "She's going to get her money's worth!" Still what hurt even worse were the nice people the trying to be kind people the ones who felt sorry for her people Saying "all you need to do is lose a few pounds." or "you have such a pretty face." Some people would tell her "You're just big boned." Then there was comment she hated the most "You have such a great personality!" For she knew it was all part of the "Fat Girl Show" the persona she had gifted to them. Then came the day that epic day she stopped joking. When she smiled when she wanted to smile when she dressed in the ways she wanted to dress. She embraced the form she was given she celebrated all her curves. She decided to eat when she was hungry nourishing and loving her body she allowed colorful foods to occupy her plate. Strangely, she started losing some weight but it wasn't her goal for inside she was becoming whole. Skinny was not who she needed to be! When tears came she allowed them to flow free she was no longer her own enemy The more she cried the less she felt her empty. She learned, everyone y e s.... everyone, has some kind of insecurity! No one is completely who they wish to be some have hidden bits others are more obvious, even if some are somewhat oblivious. She now has learned to be a compassionate witness one who is much kinder to herself she doesn’t keep her thoughts on a shelf So, when others make jokes or give painful pokes... She tells them "That's hurtful and it's not okay", "I am who I am and I'm perfect this way!" Maybe next time they will consider what they say. For today and tomorrow and every other day forward she is more than some number on a scale that she weighs or some joke in an insensitive phrase. She now can be and see her true self in extraordinary ways.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 7/27/2019 7:05:00 PM
no longer her own enemy...that one sticks in all kinds of ways... Wonderful piece of art... Ann
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/28/2019 12:22:00 AM
Thanks Ann, so pleased you enjoyed this piece. It is a personal favorite.
Date: 4/21/2019 11:10:00 PM
Hi Richard: I had a medical issue and I lost 25 pounds so I could relate in reverse now. I was a well built 160 lbs at 5' 5 inches . I'm ok now and I gained back 12 lbs. Weigh is something you lose when you re older. An insightful poem!
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 4/22/2019 7:43:00 AM
Thanks Ralph, I’m glad your health improved.
Date: 4/9/2019 7:56:00 PM
Richard, you wear your compassion on your poetic sleeve. And that's a good thing. You make a strong case for authenticity while reaching out to all of us, from the elite to the downtrodden. An aged old song, well written and with great heart. Souls touching souls is what great poetry is all about. This piece touches many souls. Me included.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 4/22/2019 7:45:00 AM
What a great comment, thanks Greg. Somehow I missed this one.
Date: 2/19/2018 3:40:00 AM
Beautiful, truthful... I enjoyed reading this lovely poem about self love.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/19/2018 7:51:00 AM
Thanks for visiting again Valerie. I wrote this piece for an eating disorder symposium in Vancouver. I’m pleased you joyed it.
Date: 12/13/2017 2:49:00 AM
Pretty
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 12/13/2017 7:22:00 AM
Thanks.
Date: 11/8/2017 3:14:00 PM
Wow! truly well written - so thorough, so sensitive, just plain amazing !!
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 12/13/2017 7:22:00 AM
Thanks Line. :0)
Date: 5/16/2017 10:43:00 PM
A 10 from me:)
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/17/2017 7:37:00 AM
Thanks Jo, much appreciated.
Date: 5/16/2017 10:42:00 PM
This is absolutely beautiful and heartfelt write, Richard, on an issue that needs to be talked about:) people hardly bother about the feelings of others before making comments:(
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/17/2017 7:39:00 AM
Media bares a lot of responsibility and certain groups are easy targets.
Date: 5/13/2016 1:17:00 PM
a mighty poem Richard, Congratulations on the win. Stop and enjoy my blog "Peace is a Fugitive." SKAT LOVE
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Date: 3/15/2016 9:44:00 AM
Perfect!!!
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Date: 3/15/2016 8:08:00 AM
Greetings Richard. Congrats for your well, deserved top placement in the contest!!! ;-)
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Date: 3/13/2016 2:02:00 PM
Well done and congratulations Richard
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/13/2016 2:09:00 PM
Thanks Charlie!
Date: 3/13/2016 12:48:00 PM
Great write! Congrats on the win. Very insightful.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/13/2016 12:50:00 PM
Thanks Susan.
Date: 3/13/2016 10:05:00 AM
Richard, Congratulations on your awesome win. Thank you so much for supporting my contest. Stop by my blog "LAST CALL" if you like. ((( note from MEakaPD Thank you ALL for waiting and chilling, while I sat on the sideline. Since March 1st, I moved to the 4th largest city in the USA (by population.) One of the hardest decisions EVER-EVER!!! I will keep short on my visits until April 1st. After that, there's no holding me back LOL -unless God has other plans. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/13/2016 10:34:00 AM
Hi Linda, I will check it out. Good luck with the move. Hugs Rick.
Date: 3/6/2016 7:05:00 PM
Richard, I am reading this again, because it is so wonderful ~
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/7/2016 8:17:00 AM
I don't know why sometimes messages double up. Every so often it happens.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/7/2016 8:16:00 AM
Wow! Thanks Constance.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/6/2016 7:27:00 PM
Wow! Thanks Constance.
Date: 2/29/2016 11:03:00 PM
Just Beautiful Rick!!! Wow what a great message for all of us to love who we are. :overweight" women have it very tough, we need to learn as a society to support each other not belittle to make ourselves feel better about our own insecuruties. Amazing write as usual.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/1/2016 8:41:00 AM
Thanks for visiting! It's good to have you back.
Date: 2/29/2016 6:50:00 AM
"Somehow the cursed food felt like her only true friend the only one on whom she could depend. The food never judged her instead it filled the empty sad part the part that weighed nothing yet felt like it weighed a thousand pounds! The part that felt lighter when she was full it somehow felt like a hug from the inside." This phrase hit me the most. What inspired you of this? Reading this reminds me about how I treat my self when I'm feeling so stressful. Thanky for the very supportive work :)
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Yanny Widjanarko
Date: 2/29/2016 6:17:00 PM
Yes Rick, you've told me before :), and this is such an emotional and stunning piece. Great work :D
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/29/2016 8:07:00 AM
I wrote it for the international weight stigma conference in Vancouver.
Date: 2/23/2016 7:25:00 PM
Thanks Richard, that sounds too much like me, I've been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember, and it's that much harder because I have endocrine problems. People will see u and just assume what they want, without even knowing u, but the worst part is when u start thinking the worst and being hard on yourself.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/23/2016 9:15:00 PM
My prayer for you is that you will come to own your beauty. Thanks for commenting on my poem.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/23/2016 9:08:00 PM
My prayer for you is that you will come to own your beauty. Thanks for commenting on my poem.
Date: 2/21/2016 6:33:00 PM
Such insight . What a lucky wife. to have such a holistic husband.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/21/2016 6:43:00 PM
Thanks Jean, I feel like I am the lucky one.
Date: 2/20/2016 9:24:00 PM
Beautifully written and a tribute to hefty girls everywhere.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/21/2016 8:53:00 AM
It's a tribute to every woman of any size who has looked in a mirror and not felt good about herself.
Date: 2/18/2016 10:40:00 AM
Richard...this poem couldn't be more perfect!"That's hurtful and it's not okay", "I'm who I am and I'm perfect this way!" What wonderful come back lines. This is a fave for me. #7
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/21/2016 8:54:00 AM
Thanks so much Connie. Much appreciated.
Date: 2/16/2016 9:01:00 PM
Way to go!!!!!! Thank you Richard! Stunning work!!!
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/17/2016 8:54:00 AM
Thanks Donna. Much appreciated.
Date: 2/16/2016 6:24:00 PM
A sad story! Light & Love
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/17/2016 8:55:00 AM
Thanks Debbie, it's not meant to be sad, it's meant to be empowering.
Date: 2/16/2016 11:25:00 AM
Hi, We really like your work. Thats fantastic and if you want your work to be published in our Indian version of international magazine,you can send your work on our email id. Or contact us on facebook and instagram. Links are given below: Miracle Magazine Email- miraclemagazineindia@gmail.com
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Date: 2/14/2016 8:28:00 PM
Richard a great and meaningful story that tells us to not judge the book by the cover and accept what you see without judgement. Cheers Kev
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 2/15/2016 7:37:00 AM
Thanks Kevin, for us humans that seems to be a tall order.
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