Best Friend

My world is slowly falling apart I know that there’s only one person Who’s caused this change to happen You’ll start sarcastically joking With me on the phone I’ll read your messages And though they feel Like a stabbing pain entering my heart At a fast rate I won’t tell you anything For fear that you’ll get sick of me And say ‘You don’t understand jokes at all’ In a week You’ll call me worthless When I begin to Question our friendship You’ll say it’s just a joke Doesn’t mean anything Just relax a little You’ll roll your eyes and smile I’ll smile in a fake way back You won’t know about The negative thoughts that surround my head As I cast my eyes on the floor Very deep in thought You’ll start to body shame me As if I could change the body That I was given As if all the constant eating and gym visits Could fix what others didn’t like As if all the skincare and haircare products Would make me ‘naturally beautiful’ They don’t work Believe me, I’ve constantly tried Tried to live up to your expectations Yet if I body shame you You’ll become pissed off What am I supposed to do Keep quiet and never respond? And I remember distinctly The repeated amount of times I begged you not text me such things How your words had Negative affects on me How I’d lay under my covers at night Dreaming of different ways to Suffocate myself But When I’d wear my necklace with A safety pin on You’d see it And think nothing of it While everyone else noticed and asked You keep sending me those awful text messages To a point where I wish I had blocked you before It’s as if I knew our friendship wouldn’t last But I’d still try to pull on the last string To keep our already - falling friendship Together You’ll grab a scissor and cut it off Turn your back on me And smirk I’d stand back up And pull again And again And again In a few weeks When you text me once more This time I genuinely become annoyed By your usual sarcastic remarks I’ll text something in the least hurtful way You won’t answer Your friends will They’ll go on about how I’ve Bullied all my friends away How short and petite I am How I can’t keep a single friend in my life How I’m only friends with people That will use me all over again I’ll text you that we aren’t friends anymore That I’m sick of your constant picking and ‘Sarcastic texting’ Do I hope you’ll respond? I do And you never do Your friends will It had come to a point in time Where I laid my phone flat on the classroom table And blocked you for good