Sandra Adams Poet Free verse

Beneath the Frost

this autumn air
leaves me gasping
in the depth
of thoughts

i scrape frost
from windshields
on mornings
that resemble
your heart

the wind
carries the tune
of unsung lullabies
better than you

some days you linger
like october's leaves
the trails of my pain
spiraling in these winds

our eyes meet
in the mirror
as i drive along
trying to forget you

bleached blonde beauty
your glamour 
only ran skin deep
i saw the truth seep
in the roots 
of auburn drab

i've grown my layers out
even tried to scribble color 
in darker tones
to regain myself
yet it always fades
back to platinum

sometimes i despise
looking at you
in the mirror
looking back at me

sometimes 
i want to find me
without you
because you make me
dislike what a see
you make me
hate myself
just like you
seemed to

i wonder
does it make you
stand proud
knowing
you still
can kill me
even in death
your hold
chokes

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Beautiful Scars October 27, 2019 at 1:55 PM how did I miss this one? Oh my, so beautiful SS, thanks for sharing yet another beauty :) -luloo Sandra Adams October 27, 2019 at 1:59 PM Thank you so much...my muse dumped a bunch of emotional writes at once... i had been clearing pictures off my computer in the event it dies...my emotions were everywhere hugs....:)

Hello There October 24, 2019 at 11:08 PM This was razor-sharp and gut-wrenching, my friend...an excellent write!! Sandra Adams October 25, 2019 at 10:57 AM thank you my friend....the frost this morning got to my muse... hugs :)

Vijay Pandit October 24, 2019 at 10:50 AM I felt the intensity of your write, especially towards the ending..so sad my friend. Though you gave many clues: leaves grasping...frost on windows..trails of pain. As always, your feelings touch the reader..this is an awesome write, Sandy. Sandra Adams October 24, 2019 at 10:56 AM Thank you so much Vijay...i appreciate all your kind words and visits...there is much pain where she is concerned, yet she relied on me to see her through the cancer to the end...i finally had the mother i always wished i had but knew it was temporary...i rarely drive to her grave

Chris Green October 24, 2019 at 10:41 AM Oh my, this was dark and sad and angry it seems to me. The depth of your words brings a chill to my heart. A graphic and disheartening poem that is still in my eyes a beautiful piece of art. Even when you are crushing your pen against the page something glorious is found in the ink. Deeply affecting my friend. Sandra Adams October 24, 2019 at 10:50 AM thank you Chris...there is much hurt where she is concerned...it was just the anniversary of a hit and run accident wednesday...i always thought she was the one who did it because not long before, she threatened to run me over, i stood there, telling her to go ahead...a friend yanked me out of the way, her lover worked in a garage, it would have been easy to fix the car quickly...i hate that she made herself look like me... hugs