Belonging

He suffered a plenty, but from deep within, he disconnected the suffering. Whether on purpose or subconsciously, the disconnection was for his protection. He learned from experience and observation that survival and victimization do not mix. Many laws and the sun's heat waves did not spare him, nor did his age seem to matter to any. Early on, it was clear to him that 'this place of want and lack' was not made for 'happy dwellers'. His birth place, his unchosen abode, his underprivileged land of heavy labor without opportunity, created uninvited nightmares that occupied spaces reserved for dreamers who were constantly forced to fight gallantly, never relinquishing but taking back their most prized possession. Dreams. It was better suited for 'migrants', not for mortals whose belonging, whose real home was within them. This land was never fit for dwellers looking for a better life. On the other hand, migrants were smarter because they were always committed to moving on. The foundation of migrants who entered his community was permeated with 'mobility', and they understood that this land of 'rich man-poor man was a place where poverty's seed had no life; and 'moving on' was the best advice. To go or return where one has been before but doesn't want to go again is challenging; and the mere talk about returning to reside becomes a struggle too complicated to be understood by others. Was it so bad; so distasteful; so dehumanizing; so unpleasant; so not a home? Was there ever a feel of home beyond the family with any sense of belonging? The answer is an absolute 'Yes' to all the above except the last. "No" feel of home and belonging beyond the immediate family. So he moved on and left his hurts and sorrows behind him in a shack. To even consider going back would be a major task. But why go back? And to what I ask? Even the shack is gone. Better to perish the thought. He is free; holds no grudges, carries no bitterness, and harbors no resentments, but has no desire to return. A bird with a broken wing has learned to mount and fly, and a stunted child became a stable and contented man. But yet the question remains. Can the struggle be overcome and the return realized, not for himself, but for the love of another? . . . . . . . . 010221PS