Before you judge me

Before you judge me tell them I was a child of rape and my mom refused to leave the man who raped her before you judge me tell them my mom was emotionally abusive she always pushed me away when I told her I loved her before you judge me tell them my dad was also emotionally abusive he was the first man to call me a because I wanted to leave before you judge me tell them how my family abandoned me when I needed someone to lean on before you judge me tell them how my son dad almost killed me before you judge me tell them I had to cry behind closed doors just to be strong for my kids before you judge me tell them why I tried to hold everything in because I knew if I blew up I'm considered crazy before you judge me tell them that I loved you and you pushed me away before you judge me tell them how much i once cared before you judge me tell them i dont remember any of childhood before you judge me tell them how i had attachment issues because of all the trauma you put me through before you judge me tell them that every relationship I had I was the problem before you judge me tell them that my trauma was my lifestyle I couldn't escape before you judge me tell them It was always my fault even though it never was before you judge me tell them why i have to hide my tears because crying in front of people makes me feel weak before you judge me tell them when I needed a hug no one was there for me but instead they walked away before you judge me tell them that im broken and cant easily be fixed before you judge me tell them why I kept people in my life that wanted to leave because i didnt wanna feel alone