Bardliner Notes

Don’t do the rhyme if you ain’t got the time. Nothing is worse than a half-finished verse. If you want to complete her, you’ll need a good meter. (‘Tis said that the bard brought the girls to the yard.) Don’t use words in a poem if you don’t really know ‘em. Great gasp! Bloody heck! Have you heard of spellcheck? Your free verse is free… of all grammar, I see. Watch those apostrophes to avoid apostasy. Bad punctuation brings the downfall of nations. Long lines are killable, so be watching the syllables. If the subject is tumors, at least use some humor. If it’s garbled and confused, don’t shoot the muse. If poetry’s hard, well, don’t blame the bard. If you’re not having fun, this career’s not the one. You’re not making money? I’m not either, honey. And listen here, Missy, that’s pithy, not pissy. I’d have more retorts, but I’d best keep it short.