Ballad of Bad Doggie
Sing to tune of "Teen Angel" if you are old enough to know that tune!
That fateful night we brought you home,
you looked so sweet and cute,
but when I sat you on my lap,
you pooped on my new suit.
We realized you were still young;
you needed to be trained.
But after months of accidents,
our carpets all were stained.
(Refrain)
Bad doggie, so annoying,
what now - are you destroying?
Are you dead or doing well
and putting someone else through hell?
We hired a professional
to help us deal with you.
But nothing worked, and even worse,
you then began to chew.
Ignoring bones, you chewed our shoes,
our walls, our chairs, the gate!
And so we had to keep you in
a store-bought plastic crate!
(refrain)
Bad doggie, so annoying,
what now - are you destroying?
Are you dead or doing well
and putting someone else through hell?
You yelped and howled inside your cage.
We put you out in back.
But in the yard you barked and barked
like some crazed maniac.
And then you started digging holes.
You dug through dirt and grass.
You got away and then you bit
our neighbor on the ass.
(Refrain)
Bad doggie, so annoying,
what now - are you destroying?
Are you dead or doing well
and putting someone else through hell?
We paid the neighbor's doctor bill
and paid a hefty fine.
But tied up barking in the back,
you made the neighbors whine.
And so we took you to the pound.
The last I heard was that. .
you fled, and while they search for you,
we've gone and bought a cat!
(Refrain)
Bad doggie, so annoying,
what now - are you destroying?
Are you dead or doing well
and putting someone else through hell?
(bad doggie, bad doggie. . . please don't return)
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