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Awaking from Stupor

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For Unseeking Seeker's Awkning from Stupor contest.

Line of enquiry. It’s not desire per say but the clinging ~ that stifles soul and stops heart from singing enlivening silence sets our soul free ~ vibrant in the now, joyful and carefree”
Phantoms of constant fog create a zombie state of existence, feeling worthless, your barriers offer demons no resistance. Thoughts drift into a hazy labyrinth of toxic wilderness, you're wide awake, but the mind's sleeping in fields of bitterness. Dark shadows of silhouettes in shrouds start to frighten, so you search for stimulation, for your eyes to enlighten. To hush these' car crash' carnage echoes of violence, soul seeks refuge away from ego to master silence. To wander under blue sunny skies with caffeine clarity. To cleanse in waterfalls that lead to principles of purity.   When you no longer dance with the Devil's temptations, serenades of resurrection release suppressed frustrations. Spirit soars, humming the repetition of a sweet refrain, as you break away from the monotony of past pain.  In the muteness of stillness the heart learns to let go, flourishing like the first daffodil after months of snow.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 1/24/2024 10:15:00 AM
Congratulations on your win! Release! "flourishing like the first daffodil after months of snow" uplifting endings
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Date: 1/24/2024 6:41:00 AM
Back with hearty congratulations on your well--deserved win Silent One
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Date: 1/23/2024 11:23:00 PM
"Spirit soars, humming the repetition of a sweet refrain, as you break away from the monotony of past pain. In the muteness of stillness the heart learns to let go, flourishing like the first daffodil after months of snow." From a lethargic state when we rise, spirit soars to kingdoms of joy! The concluding lines are so rejuvenating ! Congratulations on your well deserved win.
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Date: 1/21/2024 8:11:00 PM
So very beautiful ! Enjoyed this mono rhyme thoroughly. For lack of time, cutting short ! I am sure this is going to be placed high.
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Date: 1/21/2024 3:41:00 PM
Very beautiful and I loved the last line, because it summed this poem up. An inspiring write...
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Date: 1/20/2024 5:37:00 PM
A magnificent poem, my friend.
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Date: 1/20/2024 4:59:00 PM
a delightfully profound poem, Silent One. Your rhyme scheme flowed, and your imagery was effective. I couldn't help but notice the subtle use of alliteration in your poem. I thought the use of phantoms of constant fog as the 'stupor' was brilliant. Another masterpiece and a perfect creation for the contest. Well done, Sara
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Date: 1/20/2024 3:26:00 PM
Faith destroys fear and mistrust and ill confidence. Belief has noy built in because joy is knowledge, intimate, carnal. ~Jude, "The lack of joy is a stupified stupor, the zombie virus of fear." Love this.
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Date: 1/20/2024 1:11:00 PM
Excellent job! I thoroughly appreciated the clever use of rhymes in your composition. The vivid imagery truly leaves a lasting impact. The skillful incorporation of alliteration adds a touch of elegance to your work. The poem concludes flawlessly, making it a strong contender in the contest.
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Date: 1/20/2024 12:11:00 PM
nice rhyming and light touch of alliteration, with a good closure to the poem, should do well in the contest...thanks for your comment on my sijo, keep smiling..:)
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Date: 1/20/2024 8:01:00 AM
You very poetically addressed his topic, Silent One. So well done.
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Date: 1/20/2024 7:33:00 AM
Perfectly descriptive of stupor:-- Dark shadows of silhouettes in shrouds start to frighten, so you search for stimulation, for your eyes to enlighten---and a turn to enlightenment: Spirit soars, humming the repetition of a sweet refrain... Well delivered on the contest theme, SO.
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Date: 1/20/2024 7:24:00 AM
I like this one. So very descriptive of negative emotions that cling but are left behind when a person goes on doing something that they enjoy. It is like a seeing the first daffodils when finally letting go of some negative emotions. Thanks for sharing this one with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K
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Date: 1/20/2024 6:51:00 AM
First daffodil after months of snow! I can imagine that. Dear silent one this is such a profound write with excellent rhymes and cadence that elaborates and conveys the depth of how an individual that dwells in darkness seems like, unable to see light. But to find pure happiness and joy one must let go and live in the moment, and let go of ego too. I love the way you’ve especially written “ you're wide awake, but the mind's sleeping in fields of bitterness.“ a state of mind that so many in this
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Ink Empress
Date: 1/20/2024 6:54:00 AM
Seems to be caged in, sad but true. Makes me wonder are they really living or merely jusy breathing. “ To wander under blue sunny skies with caffeine clarity. To cleanse in waterfalls that lead to principles of purity.” Your use of alliterations truly stands out for me and is impressive and clever and love the way they sound when read out loud. “ In the muteness of stillness the heart learns to let go,“ true! And i think this hits the right chord! Goes with the line of enquiry perfectly! I think seeker will love this one! You’ve nailed it! Best wishes! A fave this is

Book: Reflection on the Important Things