Ashamed

I know what I did was wrong I could have handled it better But God, please oh please Don't think any less of me I know you are my teacher And I know that this shouldn't matter so much But for some reason I can't help it What you think of me really matters I can't go around pretending that I don't care If you disapprove of me Then I'll just have to find a way to prove myself That lecture you gave us Well I didn't think much of it in the beginning but When you said that you expected more of me I felt horrible, like my shield of pride Had been cut down, and thrown to the side Leaving me without protection Feeling down on myself, and alone I shouldn't have done that I know And I know your lecture was supposed to make me feel guilty But you don't know how much I look up to you How I want to be just like you when I'm older But now you disapprove And I still haven't thought of what I'm going to say tomorrow What will happen Will you take one look at me your eyes boring with pity And turn away Will you act as if it didn't happen... No, I know you better then that I know for the next few weeks I will feel ashamed of myself I know that you will silently and painfully hold it over me Even though everyone else has let it go You just don't get how much I need to impress you Without your encouragement and words of wisdom I feel a little lost in the world And I can't ask anyone for help Because you were the one I would turn to My world is upside down And you my light at the end of the tunnel Has silently gone out And I'm walking... blindfolded...