Home » Poems » Silent One » Artificial Existence

Silent One | + Follow Poet |

Artificial Existence

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Silent One.

Fictional poem, aplogies for the bad language..

I'm so tired, I just want to sleep. It's the same bull**** everyday. Now that God can't save me, I feel like making a deal with the devil. He could breed using my collection of sins. But aren't we all sinners? I've never understood why people are afraid of me, because I'm different - but I'm the same as you. I myself am strange and unusual, but my mother would disagree, reminding me everything has beauty, but not everybody sees it. I beg to differ as there is no elegance in evil. Whilst my beloved says; "Hide your eyes darling, people can see your soul through them." to which I reply; "Souls are wild creatures that's why our ribs are cages." But, I know bullets can pierce them, I'm not bulletproof, So why does life keep firing them? Even she doesn't understand. Normal is an illusion. What's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. So, who are they to judge me? My shoes know no other feet. F*** my life, right? It's getting dark in this little heart of mine. F*** the stars, which bring no joy, so I curse the night. Extinguish the sun, it doesn't make me smile, so I close all the blinds to block out the light, as my whole life is a darkroom of forgotten images, because I don't want to dance with shadows waltzing far behind. What is life but a masquerade of artificial existence. Why should I fear the dark when masks people wear in the sun are much more terrifying? Maybe that is why I never trust the living, but I know the Devil couldn't handle me, even with instructions. I no longer search for celestial intervention. If chaos is a work of art then my mind is a masterpiece.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 1/12/2024 10:47:00 AM

- Back with a well-deserved congratulations, S.O. :) - hugs

Sotto Poet

Date: 1/12/2024 6:19:00 AM

Back with hearty congratulations on your contest win, dear friend.

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 1/12/2024 4:58:00 AM

i think this is a good write from you; it's something a bit different, and it's nice to see you taking a few risks, pulling back on the alliteration, and writing very raw - i particularly like the lines about ribs being cages and masks people wear in the sun...congrats on your win in my contest!

Jude Herrick

Date: 1/7/2024 7:31:00 PM

"He could breed, using my collection of sins"... :-) I can see him getting a sample and CRSPR/mRNA. But unable to do anything with the strange, exotic materials. ~..."Maybe that is why I never trust the living, but I know the Devil couldn't handle me, even with instructions."

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 1/7/2024 9:27:00 AM

Terrifying people has its virtues. At least they will give you personal space. Your poem implies that you are comfortably 'settled in'. I doubt the Devil will have you. This poem is a nice Goth piece.

Maria Williams

Date: 1/7/2024 4:22:00 AM

Normal is an illusion. What's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. So, who are they to judge me? Love this. and you are so right. What is there to fear in the dark when people with masks are equally fearful by day? Your concluding lines sum it up beautifully. A fave for me. Hugs

James Peranteau

Date: 1/7/2024 1:50:00 AM

i'm 6'2 186lb 2% celullite a little over 10 yearz "Hung Gar" / "Tiger and Crane" style Shaolin Kung Fu and no one fears my prowess ....they respect me though, and not because uv mine, they respect me because uv my patience regard Jehovah and His Son(the Two who caused mine walk)coming to rescue me ;) In the 'fore then, i kick back and enjoy Noah the feminine, my gardens and writing....i'm the 'pussy' kat...sometimez i just can't pass up commenting< powerful write dear poet! thanx...much luv, me

Valsa George

Date: 1/6/2024 11:16:00 PM

I feel this is dark poetry. We live in a world of hypocrisy where everyone wears a mask. Beneath the veneer, all are sinners, but we try to stone others condemning them as sinners. Here I am reminded of the words of Jesus in the Bible when a woman accused of prostitution was brought before him...... “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” When we go to judge others, we should remember this. Great poem Silent One

Ink Empress

Date: 1/6/2024 10:00:00 PM

This is brilliant! I am truly in awe of the depth of this brilliant poem. And i say this too always. Arent we all sinners? Sinning differently, but why are we judging others for sinning differently? Its human nature isnt it, you’ve said it all well and how you’ve explained that normal is an illusion is so clever and has a philosophical touch to it . What one considers normal can be chaos to another, and i dont believe there is such a thing as normal. The feeling of exhaustion that you’ve des

Ink Empress
Date: 1/6/2024 10:02:00 PM

Described here is so very soul hitting and your way with phrasing thoughts is so powerful and moving! I love so many lines in this: especially the ending stood out for me. “ I no longer search for celestial intervention. If chaos is a work of art then my mind is a masterpiece.” Impeccable! Darkness youve shown in such a poetic manner in sheer eloquence! Only you can do that , show emotions in various ways that leaves readers in awe! Pleasure reading this! Another fave for me

Unseeking Seeker

Date: 1/6/2024 8:11:00 PM

An intriguing write, Silent One, masterfully crafted from your pen, as always. Thought = chaos. Thought arises not in mind but in heart. A quiescent heart rests presence in thought rested stillness, in silence. Opposites dissolve, all becomes clear. Mind becomes an instrument, tail no longer wags the dog.

Jerry Brotherton

Date: 1/6/2024 5:49:00 PM

An unusual poem from you, my friend. But one with such power. This would make a wonderful spoken-word poem, I think. I love the line, "Souls are wild creatures that's why our ribs are cages." A must fav for me, Silent One.

Silent One
Date: 1/7/2024 1:22:00 PM

Thanks..I was thinking the same..maybe one for the future

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 1/6/2024 5:02:00 PM

I appreciate the chaos for in the end it serves the message you are trying to convey....or maybe you were just having fun. Sometimes I'm too serious. I liked 'the devil couldn't handle me without instructions.' I got a kick out of those words. I appreciate you fashioning something that's 'different' for you. have a great evening, Sara

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/6/2024 4:35:00 PM

wow, I sure hope you don't really feel this way. This type of free verse I have written before, but I don't know if it is really free verse. I am having problems knowing how to sometimes label my "free verse" poems. This is quite different for you but also a fun read

Sotto Poet

Date: 1/6/2024 2:53:00 PM

The poem exhibits exceptional imagery, presenting a seamless flow and an imaginative portrayal. It successfully evokes intense emotions that effectively convey a sense of anguish through its remarkable use of metaphors to depict life. The dialogue within this piece is profoundly impactful, delivering a flawless conclusion to the underlying theme. It captivates and entertains, while also serving as a potent tool to broaden perspectives. This writing is truly groundbreaking, and its impact is undeniably real.

Vijay Pandit

Date: 1/6/2024 12:31:00 PM

I felt the intensity of emotions that convey angst-- in wonderful metaphors on life. A powerful dialogue, SO. A perfect ending to your theme, my friend.

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 1/6/2024 12:24:00 PM

- Many chaotic thoughts and feelings in these lines, S.O. ... a powerful poem ... the temperature rises when reading ... woow :) - hugs ?

Martin Braun

Date: 1/6/2024 11:24:00 AM

I enjoyed reading this, very much. "What's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly," "If chaos is a work of art then my mind is a masterpiece." There was a consistency to your chaos, there always is, as mathematics proves. And your way of expressing your observations is a gift. Thank you. I look forward to reading more.