Anticipation. . . . Masochism

I wait for him by the side of the fence, Wait for his laugh as he rounds the bend, I ignore my heart so wildly throbbing, I delude myself into believing i'm his only, Engaging in smalltalk to my dishevelled mind, I anticipate the smile when he sees me i will find, I fail to reconginse the telltale signs of a worthless infidel, Trusting my heart and deluding my mind so blind, I know in my heart he will improve . . . never, Yet my lips quiver at the mere mention of his name, I relish the stolen moments when i approach my lover, Yet fate keeps me guessing as to where he is yonder