Jan Allison Poet Limerick

Notes About The Poem

And Mother Came Too - Excess Baggage

I met Peter for a blind date
His bad habits I REALLY hate
He sat picking his nose
Finding fluff from his toes
Then both of these items he ate!

His mother accompanied us …
She’d sat next to me on the bus
Told me Peter was ‘pure’
And to be doubly sure
She’d tied up his balls in a truss!

Peter was a prolific farter
So our date I deemed a non-starter
The wind from his tush
Came out in a rush
I went home as I’m not a martyr!


Fiction write BUT I did go out with a guy who wanted to bring his mother with us when we went on honeymoon ….needless to say I didn’t marry him!

Baggage Contest
Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire

Color of gemstone would be green

01~30~17

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Sunita U.D Palawon February 22, 2017 at 10:46 AM Oh!!...Well done Jan :)) Jan Allison February 22, 2017 at 2:41 PM Thanks Sunita:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper February 20, 2017 at 8:10 PM Very good,,, laughing so congratulations on your win Hugs Eve Jan Allison February 21, 2017 at 4:37 AM Thanks Eve I was delighted to be on the winners list hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe February 20, 2017 at 6:38 PM Laughing at your funny poem. And unbelievable about the guy who wanted to bring mom on the honeymoon! Congrats on your placement, dear Jan. Jan Allison February 20, 2017 at 6:41 PM I laughed at Dane Ann's comment - looks like its more common than I knew if it happened to the Clinton's lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen February 20, 2017 at 6:31 PM Ha ha! Congratulations on your well deserved placement with this imaginative poem. Jan Allison February 20, 2017 at 6:36 PM oh how amazing a story is that Dane Ann! Thanks for sharing:-) hugs Jan xx Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen February 20, 2017 at 6:34 PM P.S. I read in a Book about Clinton's life that Hillary's whole family went with them on their honeymoon! He wrote the book, himself. I stopped half way through when I became stressed out over the election banter that took place during this year's presidential election. So, things you may never expect do happen! LOL

CayCay Godwin February 20, 2017 at 4:24 PM Oh, shi ... - I think I blushed reading this one, don't know why, but I haven't got these words in me (now, not bathroom, but bedroom bad, I have). Doesn't mean I don't enjoy, I do - like a guilty bathroom pleasure. Sounds wrong, but one of my grandmother's would have loved your limericks (she always asked me to give her my hand.) Congrats on this multiple-giggle fest and its non-shi... placement! Keep air in your pen ... CayCay Jan Allison February 20, 2017 at 4:45 PM Thanks CayCay ... the thought of this guy makes me skin crawl lol I hope he has never existed only in my imagination lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich February 20, 2017 at 3:53 PM Jan, I loved your limericks. Truly about the funniest of all the poems I read. WAY TO GO in the contest. Congrats! Jan Allison February 20, 2017 at 3:56 PM Thanks so much Andrea I think this guy would have too much baggage for anyone to take him on lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire February 20, 2017 at 3:46 PM Jan, your poem is very funny and the second verse is absolutely hilarious. Congratulations on your placement in the contest! Jan Allison February 20, 2017 at 3:51 PM Thanks Carolyn I'm glad you found the poem amusing. I can't imagine meeting a guy like that, it has to be a worst nightmare scenario:-) hugs Jan xx

Elizabeth Kinch February 9, 2017 at 12:11 AM So funny in a disgusting way. Brilliant. Jan Allison February 9, 2017 at 8:53 AM I wonder if Peter really does exist lol:-) hugs jan xx

Roy Pett January 31, 2017 at 6:00 PM Brilliant Limerick, great fun write, good luck in the contest, Roy. Jan Allison January 31, 2017 at 6:01 PM Thanks Roy I hope the judges like it:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel January 31, 2017 at 8:45 AM Ha ha:) very funny:) hope this wins:) Jan Allison January 31, 2017 at 9:51 AM I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour Jo but this is the best I could come up with for the contest lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis January 31, 2017 at 7:40 AM This is hilarious! Poor Martyr, Jan. You should have stayed home and have some fun! Jan Allison January 31, 2017 at 7:53 AM Pure fiction thankfully lol:-) hugs jan xx

Darren White January 30, 2017 at 11:35 PM hahaha, I'd have upped and left after the first stanza if I were you: "He sat picking his nose // Finding fluff from his toes // Then both of these items he ate! // " Too funny Jan, good luck in the contest :) Jan Allison January 31, 2017 at 7:53 AM I am glad my muse is back from holiday lol:-) hugs jan xx

Joseph May January 30, 2017 at 9:48 PM Haha...Very good one Jan...GL in the contest Jan Allison January 31, 2017 at 7:52 AM I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour!:-) hugs Jan xx

Duke Beaufort January 30, 2017 at 6:14 PM Jan, funny as always. Thanks for your continuing support and humor. I have also seen mothers accompany their daughters to participate in job interviews and everything else. It never works out very well. Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 6:15 PM I don't think its a good idea at all Duke but some parents will never let go:-) I did have fun writing this!!:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso January 30, 2017 at 6:07 PM LOL, I knew this was gonna be good, and it was! Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 6:08 PM I could have used Arthur lol but Peter reminds me of Peter Pan who never grew up lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Janice Canerdy January 30, 2017 at 5:48 PM Absolutely hilarious--skillfully-written too, Jan! 7++++! Janice Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 5:55 PM We had the same idea lol Janice I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen January 30, 2017 at 1:16 PM - Mum's little angel... he still lives with his mother ... and picks nose .... I'm sure :))) - simple in the diet ... and absolutely free :))) - Terrible poem, Jan ... but I love it :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 2:24 PM ha ha ha he can keep his free meal lol lol:-) hugs jan xx

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri January 30, 2017 at 9:47 AM Ooh la la this is super humorous, could make u roll over laughing. To go out honeymooning with yor groom together with his mom, he he no one could agree, u r right to kick him lol. Awesomely rhymed swell. 'Not a martyr' ha ha ha u ended it funny funtastic. Kudos. Nice to read from your pen again , thanx or the laugh. I hope u will too my latest. And hapy new yr. Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 11:38 AM Thanks for the lovely comment:-) glad you enjoyed my silly poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner January 30, 2017 at 9:44 AM Jan's date was real choirboy, she just sat there really annoyed, he danced with his mum, While Jan twiddled her thumbs, She got drunk and left with the busboy Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 11:36 AM Ha ha great response Daniel:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green January 30, 2017 at 9:18 AM OMG, this was disgustingly funny Jan. Ok, let's define hilarious again...this is it. I still feel creeped out. Ewwww... :) Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 11:35 AM I,ve never used the 'hilarious ' category for any of my poems as humour is subjective and I didn’t enter the recent humour contest for that reason:-) I'm glad I made you smile ... let's hope no one ever meets a 'Peter ' for real! :-) hugs Jan xx Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 11:30 AM

Tim Smith January 30, 2017 at 9:08 AM I'm with John...A Janchuckler... Peter's luck ran a muck and with his mummy he's stuck. Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 11:30 AM Lol I did date a mummy's boy once he asked her opinion over everything and she hated me for dating her son especially as I was not a Catholic! :-) hugs Jan xx

White Wolf January 30, 2017 at 8:52 AM Haha, that hit the funny bone, Jan! Well done! And GL Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 9:00 AM It would be a worst nightmare to meet a 'Peter' for real lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lim'Rik Flats January 30, 2017 at 8:46 AM GOTD!!! A superb Janchuckler — and without poo! There once was a fellow named Peter//who had a restricted heater//thanks to his Mum//his nuts were numb//but as a package they couldn't be neater. (you always bring out the worst in me — thanks;-). huggagiggles ~ john Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 8:59 AM ha ha ha great response John I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour:-) hugs jan xx

Probir Gupta January 30, 2017 at 8:20 AM Hahaha ... What a baggage disposal ... Unique ... Jan Allison January 30, 2017 at 8:25 AM ha ha ha she is one old bag I'd want to ditch straight away!:-) hugs jan xx