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And Mother Came Too - Excess Baggage

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I met Peter for a blind date His bad habits I REALLY hate He sat picking his nose Finding fluff from his toes Then both of these items he ate! His mother accompanied us … She’d sat next to me on the bus Told me Peter was ‘pure’ And to be doubly sure She’d tied up his balls in a truss! Peter was a prolific farter So our date I deemed a non-starter The wind from his tush Came out in a rush I went home as I’m not a martyr! Fiction write BUT I did go out with a guy who wanted to bring his mother with us when we went on honeymoon ….needless to say I didn’t marry him! Baggage Contest Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire Color of gemstone would be green 01~30~17

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Sunita U.D Palawon

Date: 2/22/2017 10:46:00 AM

Oh!!...Well done Jan :))

Jan Allison
Date: 2/22/2017 2:41:00 PM

Thanks Sunita:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 2/20/2017 8:10:00 PM

Very good,,, laughing so congratulations on your win Hugs Eve

Jan Allison
Date: 2/21/2017 4:37:00 AM

Thanks Eve I was delighted to be on the winners list hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe

Date: 2/20/2017 6:38:00 PM

Laughing at your funny poem. And unbelievable about the guy who wanted to bring mom on the honeymoon! Congrats on your placement, dear Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/20/2017 6:41:00 PM

I laughed at Dane Ann's comment - looks like its more common than I knew if it happened to the Clinton's lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Date: 2/20/2017 6:31:00 PM

Ha ha! Congratulations on your well deserved placement with this imaginative poem.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/20/2017 6:36:00 PM

oh how amazing a story is that Dane Ann! Thanks for sharing:-) hugs Jan xx

Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Date: 2/20/2017 6:34:00 PM

P.S. I read in a Book about Clinton's life that Hillary's whole family went with them on their honeymoon! He wrote the book, himself. I stopped half way through when I became stressed out over the election banter that took place during this year's presidential election. So, things you may never expect do happen! LOL

Caycay Jennings

Date: 2/20/2017 4:24:00 PM

Oh, shi ... - I think I blushed reading this one, don't know why, but I haven't got these words in me (now, not bathroom, but bedroom bad, I have). Doesn't mean I don't enjoy, I do - like a guilty bathroom pleasure. Sounds wrong, but one of my grandmother's would have loved your limericks (she always asked me to give her my hand.) Congrats on this multiple-giggle fest and its non-shi... placement! Keep air in your pen ... CayCay

Jan Allison
Date: 2/20/2017 4:45:00 PM

Thanks CayCay ... the thought of this guy makes me skin crawl lol I hope he has never existed only in my imagination lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 2/20/2017 3:53:00 PM

Jan, I loved your limericks. Truly about the funniest of all the poems I read. WAY TO GO in the contest. Congrats!

Jan Allison
Date: 2/20/2017 3:56:00 PM

Thanks so much Andrea I think this guy would have too much baggage for anyone to take him on lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 2/20/2017 3:46:00 PM

Jan, your poem is very funny and the second verse is absolutely hilarious. Congratulations on your placement in the contest!

Jan Allison
Date: 2/20/2017 3:51:00 PM

Thanks Carolyn I'm glad you found the poem amusing. I can't imagine meeting a guy like that, it has to be a worst nightmare scenario:-) hugs Jan xx

Elizabeth Kinch

Date: 2/9/2017 12:11:00 AM

So funny in a disgusting way. Brilliant.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/9/2017 8:53:00 AM

I wonder if Peter really does exist lol:-) hugs jan xx

Roy Pett

Date: 1/31/2017 6:00:00 PM

Brilliant Limerick, great fun write, good luck in the contest, Roy.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/31/2017 6:01:00 PM

Thanks Roy I hope the judges like it:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel

Date: 1/31/2017 8:45:00 AM

Ha ha:) very funny:) hope this wins:)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/31/2017 9:51:00 AM

I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour Jo but this is the best I could come up with for the contest lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 1/31/2017 7:40:00 AM

This is hilarious! Poor Martyr, Jan. You should have stayed home and have some fun!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/31/2017 7:53:00 AM

Pure fiction thankfully lol:-) hugs jan xx

Darren White

Date: 1/30/2017 11:35:00 PM

hahaha, I'd have upped and left after the first stanza if I were you: "He sat picking his nose // Finding fluff from his toes // Then both of these items he ate! // " Too funny Jan, good luck in the contest :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/31/2017 7:53:00 AM

I am glad my muse is back from holiday lol:-) hugs jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 1/30/2017 9:48:00 PM

Haha...Very good one Jan...GL in the contest

Jan Allison
Date: 1/31/2017 7:52:00 AM

I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour!:-) hugs Jan xx

Duke Beaufort

Date: 1/30/2017 6:14:00 PM

Jan, funny as always. Thanks for your continuing support and humor. I have also seen mothers accompany their daughters to participate in job interviews and everything else. It never works out very well.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 6:15:00 PM

I don't think its a good idea at all Duke but some parents will never let go:-) I did have fun writing this!!:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 1/30/2017 6:07:00 PM

LOL, I knew this was gonna be good, and it was!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 6:08:00 PM

I could have used Arthur lol but Peter reminds me of Peter Pan who never grew up lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Janice Canerdy

Date: 1/30/2017 5:48:00 PM

Absolutely hilarious--skillfully-written too, Jan! 7++++! Janice

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 5:55:00 PM

We had the same idea lol Janice I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 1/30/2017 1:16:00 PM

- Mum's little angel... he still lives with his mother ... and picks nose .... I'm sure :))) - simple in the diet ... and absolutely free :))) - Terrible poem, Jan ... but I love it :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 2:24:00 PM

ha ha ha he can keep his free meal lol lol:-) hugs jan xx

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri

Date: 1/30/2017 9:47:00 AM

Ooh la la this is super humorous, could make u roll over laughing. To go out honeymooning with yor groom together with his mom, he he no one could agree, u r right to kick him lol. Awesomely rhymed swell. 'Not a martyr' ha ha ha u ended it funny funtastic. Kudos. Nice to read from your pen again , thanx or the laugh. I hope u will too my latest. And hapy new yr.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 11:38:00 AM

Thanks for the lovely comment:-) glad you enjoyed my silly poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner

Date: 1/30/2017 9:44:00 AM

Jan's date was real choirboy, she just sat there really annoyed, he danced with his mum, While Jan twiddled her thumbs, She got drunk and left with the busboy

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 11:36:00 AM

Ha ha great response Daniel:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green

Date: 1/30/2017 9:18:00 AM

OMG, this was disgustingly funny Jan. Ok, let's define hilarious again...this is it. I still feel creeped out. Ewwww... :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 11:35:00 AM

I,ve never used the 'hilarious ' category for any of my poems as humour is subjective and I didn’t enter the recent humour contest for that reason:-) I'm glad I made you smile ... let's hope no one ever meets a 'Peter ' for real! :-) hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 11:30:00 AM

Tim Smith

Date: 1/30/2017 9:08:00 AM

I'm with John...A Janchuckler... Peter's luck ran a muck and with his mummy he's stuck.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 11:30:00 AM

Lol I did date a mummy's boy once he asked her opinion over everything and she hated me for dating her son especially as I was not a Catholic! :-) hugs Jan xx

White Wolf

Date: 1/30/2017 8:52:00 AM

Haha, that hit the funny bone, Jan! Well done! And GL

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 9:00:00 AM

It would be a worst nightmare to meet a 'Peter' for real lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lim'Rik Flats

Date: 1/30/2017 8:46:00 AM

GOTD!!! A superb Janchuckler — and without poo! There once was a fellow named Peter//who had a restricted heater//thanks to his Mum//his nuts were numb//but as a package they couldn't be neater. (you always bring out the worst in me — thanks;-). huggagiggles ~ john

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 8:59:00 AM

ha ha ha great response John I hope Carolyn has a good sense of humour:-) hugs jan xx

Probir Gupta

Date: 1/30/2017 8:20:00 AM

Hahaha ... What a baggage disposal ... Unique ...

Jan Allison
Date: 1/30/2017 8:25:00 AM

ha ha ha she is one old bag I'd want to ditch straight away!:-) hugs jan xx