Am I

As I lay in the grass and watched the stars above me There is a tranquil in the air around me As I begin to drift to sleep, I can't help but wonder Am I allowed to be joyful in my life away from abusive parents They never laid a hand on me physically, nor aided me Their favorite method was putting me down I never had a chance at being a child I had to learn to grow up quickly otherwise, I would be dead Am I allowed to have real friends I never had them when I was young I was always the one who was excluded from everything That made playing outside lonesome I prefer to be inside reading books At least books can't mock you as the children do At least they can take you far away from here Am I allowed to have anything in my life Or am I doomed to always wonder about what I could have Or am I allowed to die so I can have everything I desired It's not as if I would be missed