Alone In a Queen Sized Bed

alone in a queen sized bed grieving can be self indulgent partaken of in moments alone so needy to pull you back into my life my life ours no longer grieving is not wet most of the time it is dry heaving sobs of anger and aching skinraw untouched hours of night crashing on consciousness unbidden orpheus teach me slow slips into deep seas dark as the black side of a cold moon light memories like phosphorescent fish all teeth and no body dazzleblind here is the gate to hell god i hate you in this place you have crushed my heart scattered my love as carelessly as a child's pass through dry leaves what do i trade for you