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Albert's Avengers

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Albert G Walpole, proud legionnaire Clerk to the council for all of his days Lived with his mother in Hartington D'Arcy Nice little end terrace, quite set in his ways But one Sunday evening, returning from church This man of high values, a virtuous clean-liver Was mugged by some yobs full of Shipyard pale ale Relieved of his wallet and thrown in the river This tragical brush with recalcitrant youth Metamorphosised Albert from sweetness and light Into neighbourhood champion, par-excellence An enforcer of by-laws and everything right A tweeded avenger, a man on a mission To clean up his town and restore proper order Got on his bike and patrolled day and night with his helmet-cam synced to his Sony recorder Keen vigilantes were quickly recruited Chesty old buffers and ladies who lunch Weaponisation was swift and effective Tape-measures, note-pads and radar speed guns Dog fouling, ball games and illegal parking Were photographed, logged and reported post-haste Wheeley bin contents were checked for legality Closed circuit cameras cunningly placed ........................................ Alas, this account contains no happy ending As Albert's Avengers are sadly no more 'cause one night in August the townsfolk rose up And slaughtered our hero and three of his corps In conclusion it seems there are differing views As to what is construed as felonious But one thing's for sure in this contrary world It's not smart to be too sanctimonious

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

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