Abdou

She would say: << Go and make yourself some friends.>> He would diagnose that I was asocial and needed to be treated. I would go on my corner, sob, and feel relieved that I could Still feel my heart. I would repeat a thousand time that I was in safe grounds. When I talk, I can remember them saying :<< You have such a girly Voice>>. I was never allowed to talk because I was cursed. I would go home and scream until I had no voice anymore And I would lay on the floor and hope so badly that I could Cut my throat open and trash those tender chords. When I wear a short, I can remember them saying: << It is disgusting How skinny you are>>. I would go home running and hide all Of my shorts. I would then eat and eat until I started throwing Up. I would start again and again believing I was almost About to be fixed up. When I see this scar on my chin, I can remember them saying :<< You Won’t go on the fifth floor>> and then punching and pushing me Off the stairs. I remember how I ran home crying, the blood running from my mouth And my chin and their Laughter ringing loud and loud on my mind. When I see the questions on the paper, I can remember them saying: << God Made you stupid. It is just your destiny.>> I would swear that Never again would I work that hard. I would not cry anymore Because I decided that they were holding all the truths. When I see my face, I remember how I went back to them. They were everything I knew; they were all I have. So I stayed through the bruises, the blood, the insults and The insanities. I would worth as much as they wanted me To worth. I thought that all that pain I deserved it somehow. Sometimes, you are afraid to sail because you might never See the shores again. I did finally go with the wind, found Myself in the ocean and landed in the land I made.