A Wife's Revenge
Young Jimmy Kelly had this knack
Of chatting up girls and having the craic
His wife found out but kept her cool
Planned her revenge 'cos she's no fool.
The first thing she did was stamp on his fags
Then cut up his clothes until they were rags
How dare he she thought the dirty old man
Driving around town getting girls in his van.
His favorite stew she started to prepare
But added some extras' 'cos she didn't care
She added some dog hairs from the bin
Then cut her toenail's and put them in.
With his toothbrush she cleaned the loo
On the toilet seat she put some glue
Scratched his CDs with a pin
And down the sink she poured his gin.
Jimmy came home said "What's for tea ?"
"It's stew" she said "But not for me"
"I'm not hungry" she said with a grin
Jimmy got seated and began to tuck in.
After five minutes his face turned blue
Got up quick and went straight to the loo
My mouth he thought tastes of feet
When I've used the loo I'll clean my teeth.
So if your tempted to chase some skirt
Or like Jimmy to chat and flirt
Think again you'll end up with nowt
Cos your life will be hell when she finds out.
Written 18 January 2018
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