A Trip To the Opera

A Trip to the Opera By Elton Camp According to what I very often hear related, Opera you should attend to be sophisticated Just the same, it’s nothing I’ve known about But I finally decided I would give it a tryout How much different from a movie could it be So I picked out one at random that I’d go to see The very first thing that caused me some dismay Was how much for the ticket I was forced to pay I decided to go early so it’d be easy to find my seat And what a bunch of snobs there were to meet I figured tank top and shorts would be a disgrace But you should see how they dressed at that place Man with tux and woman dressed in a long grown In my suit, uneasily it was that I looked around Except for being old folks, I’d think they come from Dancing at the very most fancy high school prom I went in and found my seat to keep out of the way As others came in, I listened to what they had to say They spoke of libretto, aria, cadenza, and verismo I hadn’t any idea what those words meant, though But finally the curtain went up and the opera underway Then I found I couldn’t understand a word they say It seemed like some foreign language they were using Ones who speak English they should’ve been choosing Other folks there seemed to thing that it was just fine But I wondered why they had to sing every single line Not that I had anything against hearing a good song But hours and hours of it was, for me, much too long The story they were telling seemed awful complicated That I had spent my money to come I certainly hated And I wished that I’d eaten supper before I went there But none of the others about any food seemed to care I began to wonder when there would be an intermission I need to go to the restroom, but did I need permission? Finally I decided that about going I no longer could stall Then found the restroom line extended plum to the wall When the opera was finally over I’ll admit that I was glad Because I never had expected it to be anything like that bad I guess it’s because I’m a country hick brought up in the hills But I sure found that going to the opera didn’t give me thrills