A Trip To the Opera

A Trip to the Opera

By Elton Camp

According to what I very often hear related,
Opera you should attend to be sophisticated
Just the same, it’s nothing I’ve known about
But I finally decided I would give it a tryout

How much different from a movie could it be
So I picked out one at random that I’d go to see
The very first thing that caused me some dismay
Was how much for the ticket I was forced to pay

I decided to go early so it’d be easy to find my seat
And what a bunch of snobs there were to meet
I figured tank top and shorts would be a disgrace
But you should see how they dressed at that place

Man with tux and woman dressed in a long grown
In my suit, uneasily it was that I looked around
Except for being old folks, I’d think they come from
Dancing at the very most fancy high school prom

I went in and found my seat to keep out of the way
As others came in, I listened to what they had to say
They spoke of libretto, aria, cadenza, and verismo 
I hadn’t any idea what those words meant, though 

But finally the curtain went up and the opera underway
Then I found I couldn’t understand a word they say
It seemed like some foreign language they were using
Ones who speak English they should’ve been choosing

Other folks there seemed to thing that it was just fine
But I wondered why they had to sing every single line
Not that I had anything against hearing a good song
But hours and hours of it was, for me, much too long

The story they were telling seemed awful complicated
That I had spent my money to come I certainly hated
And I wished that I’d eaten supper before I went there
But none of the others about any food seemed to care

I began to wonder when there would be an intermission
I need to go to the restroom, but did I need permission?
Finally I decided that about going I no longer could stall
Then found the restroom line extended plum to the wall

When the opera was finally over I’ll admit that I was glad
Because I never had expected it to be anything like that bad
I guess it’s because I’m a country hick brought up in the hills
But I sure found that going to the opera didn’t give me thrills

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011



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Date: 6/28/2011 7:22:00 PM
sounds like I have pretty much expected. I have never been to one opera but have thought it might be nice. I used to enjoy the old musical number on tv but one day it just hit me shut up and tell the story. stop dragging it out. I am bad....country hick to the bone.
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Elton Camp
Date: 6/28/2011 7:34:00 PM
Doris, I am a hillbilly from North Alabama, but it might be surprising to learn that we have, in Montgomery, a first-rate Shakespeare Theater. Now that I do enjoy. I wish Jeopardy would eliminate the "Opera" category as I never know any of them! Elton
Date: 6/28/2011 7:00:00 PM
What a laugher... I love some operas..but many are just as you described..especially the line for the bathroom..but, if you ever hear Madame Butterfly, or Carmen or a dozen others..you will be in love..BG
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