A Part of Me Died With You

It's been a good while Since the last time we talked I'm definitely better off for it And hell, I hope you are too I've realized a lot since then Since we took a shovel to the spine of our relationship It's not like a golden ray of light after the night But more like a fog has been lifted on this highway You were apparently the sole remaining thread That tied me to my past so heavily And as I gaze upon my old kingdoms My Falconia and Crimsonia are a lot more ruined than I remember No longer are my memories pure bastions of a Golden Age No longer do I exclude them from my current point of view There was plenty of bad amongst the good And to fetishize them as such was only hurting me My Full Moon Queen isn't just a concept Not a long-dreamt dream of an unobtainable goddess But a woman I loved seven years ago When I was a child and love was a foreign concept We've both grown up in different ways Much as I've gone through countless trials and tribulations Surely she has as well Nothing remains static, and all dreams must be woken from I poured the depths of my mind onto pages upon pages for credit And turned them in to a man who couldn't hope to read them Among the sea of similar pages he'd have to read And yet the concept was enough to shake me from my reverie It's been a strange few months No more constant anxiety, which in turn causes anxiety to form After all, I'm not used to not having something to worry about It's a strange, empty feeling that I both love and loathe In a sense, part of me died with you A part of me that held onto childhood with an iron grasp That saw everything, even hell, cast in deep twilight Was it a Golden Age or just gold tinted lenses? The sun's set a little past twilight Atop this dusky hill where flowers are starting to bud I've dreamt this same hill covered in dead leaves under twilight Same time, same Thursdays, same hill But with a part of me gone and a new part growing To fill the hole you left behind To fill the gaps that growing up left behind A being of scar tissue and hope, left behind to begin anew