a moment before

I'm shaking ~ just waiting my cloud of distraction dissipating a test of my strength ~ culminating throat closes but not too far eyes blink slower but not lost in blank stare I'm ok - still breathing - still taking in air no tick of the clock but pulse picks up the slack will I faint no - none of that just holding on to the in and out breath this isn't a drill this isn't a test this is just my humanity doing its best in a moment of fear I rise with my chest just focus on breathing acknowledge I'm stressed then take one step forward ~ fragility confessed ~