A Good Confession
A boy steps into the confessional booth at church and kneels. The old priest is fast asleep and snoring behind the screen partition as the boy begins.
Bless me father for I have sinned
It has been two weeks since my last confession
I threw Mary down the stairs
I drank milk from the container
I pushed an old lady in front of a moving train
Several times and she did not die
There must be something wrong with her
I also touched myself in an impure manner once
Who am I kidding? I did it thousands of times
And enjoyed every minute
Bless me father for I have sinned
I blew up the town bridge with dynamite
And forgot to brush my teeth and do the dishes
The truth is; the bridge had it coming
Father forgive me for all the sins I do
Including the pack of lies I just told you
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