A Good Confession

A boy steps into the confessional booth at church and kneels. The old priest is fast asleep and snoring behind the screen partition as the boy begins. Bless me father for I have sinned It has been two weeks since my last confession I threw Mary down the stairs I drank milk from the container I pushed an old lady in front of a moving train Several times and she did not die There must be something wrong with her I also touched myself in an impure manner once Who am I kidding? I did it thousands of times And enjoyed every minute Bless me father for I have sinned I blew up the town bridge with dynamite And forgot to brush my teeth and do the dishes The truth is; the bridge had it coming Father forgive me for all the sins I do Including the pack of lies I just told you