A Giggle Or Three

The Slug

The slug is one of God’s creatures.
In his home in the forest land
He keeps the ground cleared with his crunching.
That’s  a good thing and I understand.

But why does he come to my garden
To chew on my favorite plants?
The slug can be worse than a beetle or bug
Or even meandering ants.

Now surely I’m smarter than he is,
That small mound of jelly and slop.
But I use all my wiles and my will and my ways,
And still can’t get him to stop.

When he chews on my iris or primrose
That I have so carefully reared,
I attack with an armload of weapons. 
Now I am the one to be feared.

His persistence drives me to murder.
I cut him in two with a hoe.
I drown him with beer,  pour salt on his rear.
Before a new half he can grow.

He multiplies faster than bunnies.,
And all I can do now is cry.
This slug so tenacious, ferocious, rapacious
Is much more resourceful than I..

  
  
                

           Senior Moment

I just now had a little thought,
that very swiftly sped away.
They have named them senior moments.
They come more often every day.
I’m stumbling and I’m stammering,
wondering what is going wrong.
Guess my brain is overloaded.
It has been working overlong.
I try to introduce a friend.
I simply can’t recall her name.
When I think of it at midnight
It’s way too late and not the same.
My friend doesn’t seem to notice,
She acts as if all is just  fine.
Unbothered I forgot her name,
She’s trying to remember mine.

		

    The Illiterate Goose

In the field across from me,
a sign as plain as it can be.
“Oats planted for the birds”, I read.
The flying geese pay it no heed,
and spying a stand of winter wheat
they settle on that crop to eat.
It’s testament to the absurd
a farmer puts up a sign for birds.



	lWon Honorable Mention	.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011


Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/30/2011 11:57:00 AM
Congrats Joyce on your HM .. wonderful witty write my friend..enjoy special honor with luv..
Login to Reply
Date: 9/30/2011 10:59:00 AM
Good morning and congratulations on your win in Tracie's "Make Me Giggle" contest Joyce. Love, Carol
Login to Reply
Date: 9/24/2011 12:38:00 AM
haha, I think that last one was the funniest of all!! I see you took the giggles contest judge at her word and gave her a big bag of funny tricks! good luck in the contest. I have no clue if she will enjoy the old one I gave her. I used the one from that contest that never got judged over a year ago. Do you recall it? Pet sit panics??
Login to Reply
Date: 9/23/2011 6:34:00 PM
Happy weekend I enjoyed reading your wonderful poetry today Joyce. Love, Carol
Login to Reply
Date: 9/23/2011 9:01:00 AM
Enjoyed all 3, Joyce. Especially liked the one about the slug. Very funny! Kim
Login to Reply
Date: 9/23/2011 8:24:00 AM
see i can't even spell now, moments not momenys. sorry, anyhow got to rate you again. harry
Login to Reply
Date: 9/23/2011 8:22:00 AM
brilliant Joyce, i'm glad i'm not the only one with senior momenys, ah ah, enjoyed all of these, harry
Login to Reply
Date: 9/23/2011 8:01:00 AM
Very funny stuff Joyce. Tony
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter