A Different Kind of Memorial

I write this for you far too late it seems. That the day would come, the sun would set on you was always just a bad dream, I'd conjure in my head, late at night while laying haphazardly in my bed. Of course I found it to be true and it left me speechless through and through. You were a friend to me and a Man of God. You were tired of standing still, so you got off your log. And when you announced you were joining the army I was indifferent. I didn't beam with pride, nor preach against it. I was a pesky mouse with a million things to say, but stayed quiet. Just what in the world could I do that would ever compare to the Greatest Sacrifice? We can't even sit down and talk about it that's what they mean by the Ultimate Price. Just how in the world do I honor thee when I'm convinced so thoroughly America was in the wrong? I wish at times I could be like a sheep and tag along. Hold my head up high and see the good ole red, white and blue waving majestically in the sky. But I can't just ignore what my heart is telling me. It's not about taking the day-off and having a barbecue. It's not about kicking up your feet, basking in the heat. I respect that full-heartedly. But with the range of emotions I'm feeling currently I can't even shed a tear, it just wouldn't do these feelings justice. For it is without shame and without prejudice I mourn the loss of anyone, not just someone close to me. I can't put a price tag on lives, it's just not how I see things. It's a lie what they tell you, digging doesn't always get you gold, just grimier dirt. When someone goes we all point fingers, but in the end it's only hurt that we feel. It's a long grieving process, but in explicable ways some of us just won't ever heal. Oh how I wish to grab Uncle Sam's shoulders, screaming, "Wake UP! We've played your game, but enough is enough! In the name of God, stop this charade! How dare you turn a blind eye to so much blood..." But alas, now is not the time for that - today I'm just sad when I think of all the life you could have had. All I know is that on May 4th, 2013 war took her course and swallowed up one of this world's last great remaining stars. It's a comfort to me, however minuscule, that I see your smile on the faces of many, so you can't be all that far.