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Building Tension

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Feb.17.2024
This or That, Vol.23 Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Edward Ibeh

 

That night, in a strange place I was like a fly Circling a street light Reeling…Reeling! I felt so alone Fear wrenched my throat Couldn’t predict When I would be charred to death I had heard, In the cover of dark Everyone was a robber Or a masked assassin! Without a roof over my head I was like a mole Smoked out of its hole And exposed to blaring light Had it been my own town Where I knew Every nook and cranny Like the lines of my palm I wouldn’t have minded Being so helplessly stranded Or left in the night At a distance…. I saw the faint silhouette of hills Like dreadful dinosaurs crouching Also the outlines of buildings Reminding one of the medieval haunted castles Stray dogs, mangy Were raiding the trash bins. I don’t know why then I enjoyed their company I could hear the falling hooves Of cattle, led to the slaughterhouse, And the lash of whips falling on them, Echoing the shrieking of a banshee! Saw an auto lying upside down Fallen unwary in a pothole A line of tanker lorries Seen halted by the roadside, Like the bogies of a goods train And their drivers went home, To sleep with their mates Behind the cover, I saw Two figures leaning; A man and a woman Night owls at a mating serenade! I closed my eyes, Covering them with my palm In that unearthly hour An eerie fear gripped me. Tension was building inside, Like a balloon being bloated with air And how my mind longed To slither out of that hole To curl up in the warmth of my home Far… far away!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 3/4/2024 8:49:00 AM
Heartiest congratulations on your podium win in my contest with this beautifully composed poem, Valsa:-) I thoroughly enjoyed the read!
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Valsa George
Date: 3/4/2024 6:58:00 PM
Much gratitude to you dear Edward. Taking part in your contest is always a joy for me.
Date: 3/1/2024 8:03:00 PM
Very suspense-filled, flawlessly flowing writing with many images and illustrations. Congratulations!
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Date: 3/1/2024 8:19:00 AM
Congratulations on your win. I enjoyed reading your wonderful "Building Tension" write. Always "Love" reading what you write... Have a great/blessed day with your win.....................
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Date: 2/29/2024 9:50:00 AM
Back with hearty congratulations on your win dear Valsa, it's a pleasure to share with you the podium. Blessings
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Date: 2/19/2024 9:06:00 PM
Excellent entry for the contest, Valsa, a FAV for my list. I enjoyed vivid imagery and the range of emotions you felt has the night progressed. Your sensitivity to all the goings on around you helped build the tension of the moment. I think this poem will do well in the contest, my friend. A poet friend in Texas, Bill
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Date: 2/19/2024 10:08:00 AM
Dear Valsa, your poem effectively captures the emotional turmoil and apprehension felt in an unknown and unfamiliar setting. The use of powerful imagery, such as the persistent fly and the foreboding outline of hills and structures, skillfully generates a tangible sense of uneasiness and suspense. Best wishes for the contest
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Date: 2/19/2024 8:09:00 AM
Ah another one of my faves from you dear valsa, its always a read worth of all the accolades from you, and this one is so beautiful with such descriptive language and flow of words, i really loved the way you brought dinosaurs too in here, how unique and clever. And i loved the way youve also used poetic techniques such as alliterations in such a seamless manner! The openings lines are so soul stirring! And the emotions throughout made me feel so mCH, took me on a captivating poignant ride. FAV
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Date: 2/19/2024 6:28:00 AM
Captivating story told in poetic form. It got my attention and held it. Thanks for sharing your talent with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K
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Date: 2/18/2024 8:59:00 AM
One step at a time down the ladder of tension. We all feel it. Your ending has a great wish. May you achieve peace. Best for a win. Hugs.
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Date: 2/18/2024 6:06:00 AM
- Is a great poem, Valsa ... always a pleasure to read your work ... best wishes in the contest :) - hugs
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Date: 2/17/2024 5:09:00 PM
I enjoyed the ride and progression, Valsa. Lovely one. Success!
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Date: 2/17/2024 4:41:00 PM
a most suspense place. I felt my tension grow as I joined you in a surreal, unfamiliar, eerie place. Your imagery created that eeriness and tension. Excellent write, Valsa. Best wishes with the contest...hugs, Sara
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Date: 2/17/2024 11:04:00 AM
A suspenseful and awesome place to get lost in night. Obviously tension mounts due to fear and unknown surroundings. Sure winner.
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Date: 2/17/2024 9:55:00 AM
Hey Valsa you really built tension in this one.. Your poem vividly portrays the sense of disorientation and fear experienced by the speaker in a strange and unfamiliar place. The imagery evoked, from the circling fly to the ominous silhouette of hills and buildings, creates a palpable atmosphere of unease and tension.
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Date: 2/17/2024 6:15:00 AM
Boy talk about building tension, and you left us hanging, wanting to know how things turned out. Sounds like anarchy and chaos abounding. Awesome poetic drama Valsa. If this doesn't win I don't know what will
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